A Christmas Update

So this blog is TOTALLY over due! I've been meaning to update my blog, but we moved to another apartment in Glen Burnie and we were without internet for over a month. So that's more the reason why I haven't been blogging. Anyways, I want to make this an Isaiah update. I really just haven't been into filling out his Baby Book. I dunno why. I put things in it for him to keep, but I just don't feel like hand writing all that stuff. LOL Plus, he doesn't get monthly height and weight check ups and so on a month to month basis I don't really know what he weighs etc. So I'm gonna do kinda the same update thing I did before. Hopefully I can remember everything. Actually....I don't even remember how old he was when I last blogged. So...hopefully I don't repeat anything.

Isaiah is almost 9 months old. On the 27th he will be!

He only army crawls. LOL Occasionally he will crawl on all fours, but he finds it more efficient apparently, to army crawl. lol

He is trying to walk. He pulls himself up on the coffee table and scales his self along. LOL He's quite sturdy on this feet. It'll be any day now that he starts walking!

He's major heavy! LOL I'm not sure how much he weighs but over a month ago he was over 23lbs!

He is officially off breast milk. :( Momma stopped producing milk, for what reason we're not sure of still. He adjusted very well to formula. Thank goodness! He was a fully nursed baby for 6 1/2 months. Momma's still proud she made it that long! :)

Isaiah has officially started drinking big boy milk out of a big boy sippy cup! :) He get's one sippy cup a day, and it does take him all day to drink it all. He still trying to learn how to drink out of a sippy cup. But he seems to really like the milk! :)

Isaiah is also starting to eat "Big People Food" lol He loves it. So far it's a lot of bready type things that are easier for him to chew. But he loves it. Whenever Momma and Daddy eat he thinks he should have what we have. LOL He's so funny.

Isaiah currently has 4 teeth! The 2 bottom one's were the first to come in. Then the 2 top one's came in at one time. It's taken the right top tooth a bit longer to break through, but both have officially broken through and he now has 4 teeth. Right now it also looks like his K-9's are coming in. Which I didn't realize that can happen this early...but that's what it looks like right now. We'll see how it turns out.

He has quite the personality. We can't go ONE place without someone saying how cute he is. He knows it too, sadly. He's very good and working the crowd. He shows an extreme like to blondes. LOL It doesn't matter what they look like, if their hair is blonde...he's all over it. hahaha! I tell him he's very shallow. =P lol

Isaiah makes the cutest scruntchy face. He makes the face and pretends to laugh. This is one thing he does to attract attention! It's pretty funny.

He is currently starting homeschool which consists of learning to sit still for small amounts of time, saying prayers before each meal and learning the 10 Commandments. We also read lots of children's books! We make a trip to the library about twice a month. He loves going to the library.

He is wearing size 18 month clothing and size 4 diapers. Although he will be busting out of both very soon!

In general, Isaiah still remains a very happy baby. Even when teething! We did have quite a few difficult nights, but during the day he's Mr Pleasant. lol He is sleeping through the night (fully) when he's not teething. While teething it makes things a bit unpredictable. lol

Other than that, I think that's it. That's all I can remember right now. Oh! He plays REALLY well with other children. Justin Carter remains his best friend. Another good friend is Jayden Hernandez. The 2 of them go gaga for each other. It's so cute! Other friends include Chase and Riley Freeman, Liam Thomas and I think that's it.

So that's the Christmas update on Isaiah. :)

My heart is full and my throat is tight.

I don't even know if that title makes any sense, but....that's what I'm feeling. I'm feeling like my heart is full in some areas and breaking in others. I have this permanent lump in my throat that's been swelling there for 2 weeks now. Since Theo left I have had THE hardest time. It's been so rough. It seems like he leaves and all hell breaks loose. I hate to say that, but it's true. I mean, it's the first time we've been apart since we've been married. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. But I just wasn't ready for it. Then again, are you ever? I don't think so. I know the 1st time is always the hardest, and the more he goes away, the more I'll be able to deal with it better. But it just didn't help that life seemed to go up in flames when he left. *sigh* It seriously has just been one thing after another. And maybe not everything has been huge, but even when little things stack up, they can make one huge mess. On the upside, God is amazing! HE has seen me struggling emotionally and he has brought me SO much support! I have hit a whole new level of friendship with Heather Thomas. I feel like we really I guess, opened up to each other more and that's nice. I have an amazing friend Deb, who is always there to email me and send me amazing messages. She's such a good friend. It just really sucks that she's in Massachusetts and she isn't close by. I can tell you if she was, we'd be spending ALL of our time together! LOL Anyways also Sharyn Thomas (not related to Heather) sent me a card. It came at EXACTLY the right moment. It was just so sweet. It was encouraging and everything. Then there's Treneka who I talk to about once a week if not more, who is always honest with me and always helps me in tough situations. Anyways, there is a whole bunch of other stuff I'd like to say, but I just am not feeling up to typing it all out right now. I feel a little bit better after typing this.

How can he be 5 1/2 Months already?!?!

So Isaiah Brent is growing so fast. I just can't figure out how 5 months have up and passed us already!!!! I mean...in about 2 weeks he'll be half a year old! *tear* OMG! When they say kids grow fast...WOAH! They really mean it! It's so sad. I'm a stay at home mom...and I treasure EVERY second I get with him...and it's still like, he's growing so fast for me to hold on to! It's sad, but at the same time, you love the new growth and discoveries they have made. I don't have a lot of time right now, but I'm going to type up a couple things Mr Isaiah Brent has accomplished since my last blog.

He is now 5 Months and 2 Weeks old (as of tomorrow).

He weighs over 22lbs.

He's longer than 27inches

He is fully eating 2 meals a day. They consist of Rice Cereal and a fruit in the morning and a vegetable at night.

The foods he's eaten are: Bananas, Peaches, Squash, Carrots, Sweet Potatoes, Sweet Peas, Green Beans, Applesauce...and I think that's it so far.

His favorite foods seem to be: Bananas, Green Beans and Peaches.

His least favorite food is: Sweet Peas

He has discovered his toes and that they are a very nice play toy.

He can now jump around in his Excersaucer.

His favorite toy:The Excersaucer and Anything he can put in his mouth.

He's discovered his stuffed animals, he will sit and stare at them, then attack them with kisses.

He is now in the beginning stages of crawling. He moves all around the floor in a series of rolls, scoots and leaps. He will get up on all 4's and rock back and forth. Any day now, he will be full on crawling.

He loves his Momma even when she's crazy! He adores her beyond anything!

He loves his Daddy! He beams anytime he's in the room. The other day he showed signs of knowing when Daddy leaves...and being sad.

The other day he also showed first signs of anxiety and the fact that I might leave him. I had stepped out the front door for a minute...and when I came back...he was in a panic and truly had hurt feelings. Poor baby! :(

He now laughs from being tickled! It's the greatest sound.

His favorite thing to do now, is blow spit bubbles and make sounds from them.

He also laughed hysterically for the first time. It was right after dinner when he was sitting in his high chair. He started hysterically laughing for no particular reason. He even squealed! It was the funniest cutest thing in THE world.

He's starting to grasp the concept of "No"

His favorite trouble to get into, is my side table trash can. ANNOYING!

He has received a few slaps on the hand and a few slaps on his leg. He seems to think it's funny.....but it's not funny. He'll get it sooner or later.

He is a little water baby! Loves the water!

His BFF is Justin Ezekiel Carter and his Girlfriend is Heather Thomas.

When he wakes up now, he now will lay there and talk to himself. It's SO cute!

I think that's quite a bit. My baby boy is amazingly handsome and smart. I love him dearly. Speaking of waking up...he's up...yessir.....6a.m. on the dot!

Today he will have his first Ocean Experience. We are packed and waiting for Daddy to come home, then we're off to Ocean City, MD! YAY!!!!

Loyalty

So, I know it's been awhile. I've been pretty crazy busy, but I wanted to blog really quickly about something I've been thinking about lately. Whatever happened to loyalty? Did it never exist? I'm just thinking back on basically friends I have/had. I think, as a friend you owe it to your friend to first of all be honest....then once that is achieved...then be loyal. Now, if someone were to set out and hurt my close friend....I wouldn't take it. I'm sorry. It's just not right. I wouldn't stand for it....nor would I continue to be friends with that person. You know? I'm just sayin.....maybe I'm just completely wrong. Maybe loyalty never existed. I mean...even with marriages.....the divorce rate is through the roof! And a lot of it has to do with being disloyal. I mean...am I totally off the beaten path here? I just think....when you're close friends with someone....and they have a friend (that you're friends with too) that treats them poorly and etc....I wouldn't remain friends with them. OH! And how bout this one?! Why would family still remain friends with someone who they know has hurt you?! I don't get that one! I mean....friends are one thing...but really?! Family?! That's low! Anyways, I dunno if that makes ANY sense, but it's just something I've been thinking about...so I'm blogging it! :)

Wow! It's been awhile!

Okay, so! I definitely haven't been able to blog like I wanted to! I was hoping this summer would be really relaxing, but it hasn't turned out quite that way. First I will recap of the baby and his amazing growth thus far.

He is now 4 months and almost 1 week old! He is growing so fast and it's seriously before my very eyes. It's crazy! People always say "Oh they grow so fast! Treasure every moment!" Well lemme tell you, I am a stay at home mother and I am DESPERATELY trying to cherish every single moment, yet this boy is growing like a weed. He has his 4 month check up in 2 days. We'll see how much he weighs then, but as of 3 weeks ago, the boy weighed 19lbs and 2oz! Mind you 3 weeks ago he wasn't even 4 months old yet! He eats all the time. I've taken to latching him onto my boob more just because I'm plain 'ol exhausted. We've officially started some Rice cereal either mixed with Apple Juice or breast milk. He loves it! We have also tried Green Beans (He ate that stuff UP! He loved them! Ate almost 1/2 a jar in one sitting lol), Peas (didn't like those so much), Applesauce(liked pretty well), Bananas (loved) and the new addition is carrots. I'm going to have to start feeding him cereal twice a day because this boy is eating too much breast milk. My body is KILLING me! I so long for the days when my body isn't affected by pregnancy or having to feed a little one. LOL Or how bout the fact that I've had the worst lower back pain for weeks now because my boobs are so huge. People....size F!!!!! Really?!?! Are we serious?! Yes! I assure you I am not exaggerating! It's painful! Plus I can't find a bra that properly fits! It's so frustrating. But he's not even 6 months yet, so I can't quit now. I go to weekly breast feeding support groups through WIC (Women Infant Children). Those are very helpful and encouraging for the times when I just wanna say "FORGET IT!!!!" Someone there made a statement.....she said "Breastfeeding is THE hardest easiest thing in the world to do!" If you haven't breast fed, that will mean nothing to you, but if you have....you will TOTALLY get it and understand. LOL Anyways, so as far as growth and development for Man's....who I know more often refer to as Wubbers (Which is Lovers just in baby talk lol. He can now efficiently roll over all the way. From side to side, and back and forth. He's a rolling machine. Also to my greatest surprise....he scoots himself across the floor!!!!! He will roll onto his belly...and if he sees something he really wants, he will scoot himself to whatever it is. Now most days I can't get him to do it, because he seems to be way more interested in chewing on his fist, but he can and will do it when he wants. He also is starting to show quite the personality. Anytime he's around a mirror he stares and smiles at himself. This, is most certainly a "Bogus" trait that we see in his older namesake! :) Also, he talks ALLLLL the time! He very much responds to interaction. If I ask him a question normally he will blubber back some gibberish. LOL Recently he's started to try and use his tongue to make more distinct noises. It's pretty funny and he sounds super cute! I'd have to say, his favorite toy these days, is his fist....it's constantly in his mouth. LOL He also likes chewing on a little 8oz Dr Pepper bottle I gave him. hahaha....that's really cute. He loves to look around and interact with people....especially women. He's a total flirt. It's crazy! lol I think that's about all in Isaiah Brent's world. After his check up I'm going to try my best and come and update you all on his height, weight and percentile etc. I'm sure it's going to be out of this world. LOL

Let's see. What else has happened? Theo and I celebrated our 1st year Wedding Anniversary. It is so encouraging to make it to that mark. I pray every day that God allow us to stay together for ever. As long as we make God our center, we should be good to go. hahaha! But life is rough and does create issues a lot of times. But God is bigger than any problem on earth you'll have. So that's encouraging. Oh! For our anniversary celebration, we went to the hotel we stayed in our wedding night! :) We left the baby at my Mom's and went from Thursday night to Sunday morning. It was SOOOOOO nice! Just nice to relax and be together without waking up a night to feed a baby. We cuddled so much. I'd have to say....that's what I miss most about having a new addition. I can't cuddle when ever I please with my husband. And half the time I'm so lacking on sleep before my head hits the pillow I'm dead out! *sigh* I'm hoping the sleep deprivation gets a little better.
Anyways, well that's a quick update. I really have to be going. I have a ton to do and the baby is going to wake up from his nap any minute now. He's so cute and chubby! I love him so much!

The Gall Bladder Story Part 1

So, I thought I would write down really quick about my recent visits to the hospital. I know one day I'm going to forget some of the details. hahaha! So, it starts out on Thursday, April 22, 2010. Theo was home that day and we had just been messing around the house doing this or that. I started to feel this upper abdominal pain. It at first started to kinda feel like a cramp of sorts, but it was weird to me because it was so far up on my abdomen, like basically right under my boobs. So eventually it gets so bad to where I'm hunched over groaning in pain. So we decide to head to the emergency room. I didn't know if it had something to do with the c-section, like possibly and infection...or what. So we get to the emergency room at Johns Hopkins Bayview. They tell us that because I'm within that 6 week post postpartum gap, that I have to go to Labor and Delivery. I'm thinking in the back of my mind "Grrreeeaaattt!!!" as if I haven't been there enough lately. LOL We get there, they check me into the triage room and we sit in wait while in pain. The nurses come in, the Dr comes in...and they tell me it's just gas. Because of my c-section they said a lot of times gas can build up and be very painful. They told me to stop taking Percocet because that just makes it worse. Okay...so good to go. The pain had stopped by this point anyways. I still thought it was odd, because this was evening and I had already had to bowel movements. So I just wasn't so sure they were right. Plus, I've never known gas to be that painful! But we go home and about our merry little way. Saturday, April 24, 2010 rolls around. Doing the same thing. Messing around the house when this pain starts again. I take what they suggested for me. Some like laxative of sorts (even though I had already that day had bowel movements.). It does squat and the pain just gets worse to where I'm crying over it. So back to the L&D we go! They checked me in fairly quickly being that I was bawling my eyes out from pain. The Dr comes in and feels around my upper abdominal area and says that he believes I might have gall stones. "Whaaaaat?!" So happy that they weren't telling me it was gas AGAIN, they send me down to get an ultra sound. After that, the Dr comes in and confirms that I have gall stones. Great! I asked him what that meant and he explained that it had to do with cholesterol forming into hard little balls and blocking the way that bile goes out. Thus causing the pain! LOL He tells me that because it's not infected or inflamed that I didn't need to have an emergency surgery. He said that he'd give a number to the general surgeons and I can set up an appointment to have my gall bladder removed. Of course I'm starting to panic! Oh no! Not another surgery! Will it go like my c-section? All the questions keep coming and coming in my mind. But I try not to panic. Meanwhile the Dr prescribed me more Percocet for the pain if it comes back and he told me to stay on a low fat/non fat diet. Joy Joy! So, I call Monday, I set up an appointment with a surgeon to have a consultation on Wednesday, April 28, 2010. I go in with my Man Man, she tells me that she would like to remove the whole gall bladder. Explains what the gall bladder does, why I'm having the problem and how removing it would fix the problem. Apparently it is very common to have this problem A)During or right after pregnancy or B)Rapid weight loss/gain. I had lost 36.5lbs in less than 5 weeks so that's a pretty rapid weight loss, plus I had just finished being pregnant. The Dr told me that's what she thought was the reason why I had the problem. She says because I'm young and healthy she sees no reason to schedule a surgery any sooner than 6-8 weeks after my c-section. She explained that it wasn't good to have more than 1 surgery within 6 weeks. So she said after my postpartum check-up we'd schedule the surgery. I was to remain on the same diet and take the Percocet if the pain came back. Good to go! I was worried that it might come back. The last time it had happened I couldn't even pick up the baby. So I was a bit panicked that it might happen again when I was home alone with the baby. But she assured me that everything would be good to go. So I head home. Late Thursday night April 29, 2010, after having such a wonderful day, (may I note, I did all kinds of house work and even made dinner in the crock-pot?) I was sitting on the sofa holding the baby when I felt the pain come back. "Oh no!" I said. Theo was in the kitchen and heard me and he replied "What?" I sat the baby down, popped 2 Percocets and within those few short seconds the pain got so much worse I started to feel nauseous. I ran back to the bathroom and hurled my guts out! The pain was so awful that I was gasping for air...I couldn't catch my breath. Theo called 911. We both knew what it was, but it had NEVER been this bad. Meanwhile I have no concept of time, I just keep puking everything I ever ate in my life, up and gasping for air. The pain was something so indescribable! The Paramedics came and put me on some kinda chair and carried me down the stairs to a stretcher and then they put me in the ambulance. That ride, even though it was to a hospital less than 5 minutes away...seemed like the longest, loneliest ride of my life. Theo couldn't ride with the baby, so he followed in the truck. I didn't exactly realize this at the time, but I knew he probably would meet me at the hospital. Anyways, so I get to the hospital....and guess what...I have to take a break...Man Man needs to be fed. I thought I might be able to finish the whole thing, but I guess not. *sigh* Such is the life of a Mother. LOL Hopefully I'll finish the rest soon! :)

Man Man's 1 Month Old Today!!!!

So, today, my son, Isaiah Brent is 1 month old! I can't believe it! How has time gone by so fast! Today we had to go to our WIC appointment! He is now 22.5inches long and 12.5lbs! WOAH!!!!! He's grown so much in the past few weeks. While we were sitting in the waiting room waiting to go back to our appointment, there was a lady there with a 2 year old girl and a baby boy in the car seat. I thought, from his cry and size that he was probably 2-3weeks old. HA! He was older than my son! He was 5 1/2 weeks old! hahahah! That baby was most certainly 1/2 the size of Isaiah! How crazy is that! It's obvious the goodness breast milk provides for my little man! I am so happy pumping and giving him bottles. I know that nursing mothers and in general, it's healthier to have them latch on to your boob...but I can't explain how happy I am to give him breast milk in bottles. Plus the bonuses of bottle feeding are that I can see how much he's getting, and someone else can help feed him at times. That's SUPER great. And you know...today, when I was thinking about whether I made the right decision to give him bottles, he looked at me while I was feeding him...and he gave me a look that said "I'm here Momma! I know it's you!" and then he grabbed my thumb with his little hand! How precious is that?! I disagree with the "when they nurse they have such a strong bond." to a certain extent. I believe if you work hard enough, they will still have that bond. He knew it was me...and he loves me. I know he does. It just made me feel so good and all gushy on the inside. LOL Such a sweet boy! A milestone he's reached is that last night, he slept through the night for the 1st time!!!!! He went to bed a bit before 11p.m. and slept solid until a bit after 4a.m! I did dances for joy! LOL And then once he did wake up at 4a.m. he barely drank 3oz with his eyes closed and passed right back out! How great is that?! Also another thing he did this month, actually more like the past 2 days...he has made quick small cooing noises. Like they only last like 2 seconds while he's smiling and I'm talking to him. But it's so funny, because when it happens, he startles himself! It's hilarious! So hopefully soon, he'll start babbling away! YaY!!!! I can't wait for him to laugh! Right now, I can tell he's a bit ticklish! I like to kiss under is 10 chins (hahahaha) and on his neck and he always smiles REALLY big when I do that. So hopefully soon he'll laugh as well! That'd be so amazing! Let's see...what else has happened in the last month? Well, I guess that's about it. I'm starting to heal and feel a LOT better! I have SO much more energy and I'm so happy! I've missed it! LOL It's still kinda hard balancing the baby, feeding, pumping and housework, but to be honest...that's all I have to do! I'm so grateful for that. I'm grateful I can stay at home with my son, and tend to him all day everyday. I'm so happy that the only stress I have to really worry about is cleaning a house. Actually an apartment! hahaha! I actually consider myself quite spoiled! I have a very loving husband who is SO encouraging and just tenderly cares for me. I have a Mother who is beyond words helpful! I call her all the time for any little question or any little thing I might want to talk about. She's always willing to hop in a car in any second and come rushing to MD if I need it. I mean...honestly....how many people do you know who have as much love and help as I have. Seriously, I'm beginning to think I might be so spoiled I won't be able to function on my own at all! hahahaha! I love it! Plus to be honest, it just helps me stay so positive and motivated to have so much support. For real. If I were to get postpartum depression...WOAH! It would seriously have to be because there's too many chemical imbalances in my brain! hahahaha! I thank God ever day for such strong amazing people in my life. And there are definitely more people who are awesome as well! I just always find myself overwhelmed with gratitude for the people who are positive influences in my life! Well, I think I should get ready here to run Man Man a bath. He DESPERATELY needs one! He'll be waking up here soon! Tomorrow we have an appointment to go and have a consultation with a general surgeon about my gall stone. Oh yeah! That's a new development. I, as of this past Saturday was diagnosed with a gall stone. Let me tell you, that's a PAINFUL experience! Anyways, hopefully tomorrow the surgeon will schedule me for the surgery, cause I need to get this thing out! Also, Rachel Fleming is supposed to be coming to visit! And she's bringing dinner! Yipeee!!!! :) Although, I decided today, that I need to pull out my brand new crock-pot and start using it! I need to start cooking more meals! hahaha! Anyways, I'm off! Good Night All! :)

The Labor Story Part 3-Saturday(3-27-10)

I'm on a roll tonight! This is the 3rd blog I've typed for tonight! WhooHoo! :)

Saturday, March 27th, 2010, also known as, Addie's 23rd birthday! :)
So, after everything had been done, I failed to dilate any further. The Dr's let me sit on pitocin for 6hrs and I still, nothing else happened. The Dr came in and told me that it had gone on too long now, and that she wanted to do a c-section. I agreed and started getting really nervous. I asked how long it would take to get the baby out. Her reply was "usually no more than 5 minutes at the most, that being after we make the incision." Then I asked how long the actual c-section would take and her reply was "Normally it doesn't take more than an hour and a half. But that's rare." At this point Dad and Isaiah arrived. They came almost right before I went in for the c-section. The epidural guy came in and explained to me, that because I had an epidural, that should be all I'd need for the c-section and I should be able to stay awake and see the baby being born. I was really happy to hear that. They examined me one more time, checked to see where the baby was at. I still hadn't dilated anymore. As everyone's starting to dart around the room and get everything ready, we called Ezekiel and I got to talk to him and tell him what was going on. That was so nice to be able to talk to him and feel like I had everyone there. Theo started to suit up and get ready. They told me that first I'd have to go in, and then right before they'd make the cut, they'd call Theo in. I told them okay. I was scared as crap. I tried not to show it, but really what I wanted to do was break down and cry and run for the door. But I was also eager to get my baby boy out, so I laid there as they wheeled me away from my family. (at this point I would like it to be known that I am crying remembering all of this, and all of this is VERY hard for me to think about and go over in my head. I have avoided it for this reason.) As I'm laying there on the table in this freezing cold room (I remember that was the 1st thing I said when I got in there "It's freezing in here!!!" lol) they uncover me and I'm totally exposed to the cold air. I felt very unprotected but just tried to focus on the fact that the sooner they get me ready the sooner my husband will be able to come in. So I'm laying there. They strap my arms down so that I'm laying basically "T" shaped. The epidural dude (who I will also note, up until this point I thought it was ENTIRELY weird) put an oxygen mask on me and was telling me that he numbed me all the way up to just under my boobs. I still couldn't feel anything. He asked "Can you feel that?" and I was like "Feel what?" He then told me he had been pinching my skin up on my chest....hahaha...I never felt it. I was feeling pretty darn good at this point. They told me they were about to tell Theo to come in. The epidural guy explains to me that he can make me not feel any sharp pains but besides that, that's all he can do for me. I told him okay and that I was feeling good. He started rubbing my head, which sounds weird, but it was oddly very comforting. Then Theo comes in. I'm talking to him about this or that....and then I all of a sudden felt this MASSIVE amount of pressure! I don't know how else to explain it! I started yellping with pain! They asked what was wrong and I could barely talk, but I told them "pressure! Pressure PRESSURE!!!!!" He kept rubbing my head and telling me he couldn't take that away but just to relax. I tried and started bawling. I was so scared and in so much pain. I was gripping Theo's hand for dear life. All of a sudden I started to feel really sleepy along with the pain. I told them that I felt sleepy and the epidural guy kept rubbing my head and said "It's okay...just close your eyes! Go to sleep!" Before I knew it, I thought I was dying. The beeping of my monitor starts to turn from a solid beeping noise to a blurred drone and the lights above me start swirling and the voices in the background start fading out. I did NOT understand what was going on. I was so scared and officially I remember thinking "This is it. I'm dying. This is what it feels like to die." And thats the very last thing I remember. The next thing I know is that the beeping starts turning into a more solid beeping noise again, but this time, I could not recall ANYTHING!!!!! I had NO idea where I was, what was happening, or what had happened for that matter! I started crying right away. The only thing I did remember was that I wanted Theo! Right there and then, I needed him. I was so scared. I kept trying to talk, but nothing would come out of my mouth. Finally I cried out, "Where's my husband?! I need him! I want my husband!!!" I was bawling so badly. Scared....I know I've used it, but some how that just does NOT describe how I felt. I finally heard them say "He's in the room across the hall! We're going to get you to him, don't worry. He's right there!" I couldn't open my eyes, I had NO idea who was talking to me....I just had NO clue. The only thing I knew, was that I wanted Theo and I felt like I was going to loose it if he wasn't there. Then...the epidural guy says "Honey, we have to take the epidural out." As they're sitting me up (cause I certainly had no power over my body) I feel him yanking it out of my back and I scream "NOOOO!!!! I need it! I don't want to hurt!" Then I'm pretty sure I passed out again. Again I woke up and they were saying they were going to move me onto the bed. I kept screaming and bawling for Theo. They continued to tell me the same thing. Finally....OMG! FINALLY, with me bawling and steady calling for him, they roll me into the recovery room. I hear Theo finally say "I'm here! I'm right here!" and I screamed "Why did you leave me?!" at him. Maybe not so much screamed, but more as cried and strongly asked. lol I was so upset. At this point...I did NOT remember that I had A)Been pregnant and B)Had a baby. I still at this point could not open my eyes. I still was so confused and I'm pretty sure I kept passing out, cause everything just seem to keep coming in waves. I could hear my Mom saying "Hannah! Here's your baby! He's here! Hannah look! He's right here! He's beautiful!" It took me a LONG time to register what she was saying. She says the whole time she was trying to put his face up against my cheek so I could feel him. I don't remember that. I also could feel someone had my right hand and someone had my left. Theo was trying to explain to me that he didn't leave me. He had to come out with the baby. THEN, it finally registered, where I was, why I was there and that I had actually had a baby! I asked them if they had given him formula and they said they had and that started my bawling all over again. Finally I tried to start opening my eyes again. It was so hard. I can't even explain to you the heaviness. Like saying there was a 10lbs weight on each eye, doesn't quite describe it. Its very hard to remember all that went on after this. I know that at some point I finally started to figure out what was going on. I finally saw my baby and my reply was..."Oh.....he's so......cute..." it was in a very drugged tone they all tell me. I also at some point realized Addie had my left hand. Then at a different point in time, I realized Isaiah had my right hand...and which point I replied "Oh.....Hi." I more than anything just remember the confusion. It did take a long time for that to come back. As a matter of fact, I was pretty much knocked out for a solid 24hrs. The drug they gave me after that was pretty strong and every time I hit the button to pump more into my system, it would knock me out again. So, now that I've typed out how I felt about it all. I will later on, write a blog about things that happened that I don't remember but Theo and Mom told me about. I was really knocked out and foggy headed and confused for a long time...just about 24hrs if not more. So, a lot to me, I'm just going off what they said happened, cause I certainly have no recollection of it all. Anyways, I think I've done enough crying for tonight. I will try and get on here soon and fill in the rest of the blanks. But I can tell you, I will NEVER for the rest of my life, forget these feelings. NEVER!

The Labor Story Part 2-Friday (3-26-10)

So my laboring story continues on Friday, March 26th, 2010!
I can't at the moment exactly remember where I left off, so I'm going to start with the morning of the 26th when I woke up and realized my laboring had stopped.
So, I woke up around 9a.m. and realized that I hadn't been woken up by any labor pains and I sure as heck didn't feel any now. lol So, we all got up, Theo, Mom and Addie. We all showered and got dressed, re-packed up the hospital stuff and headed to the mall. When we got there my labor pains def picked up again! They were strong and intense, and about 7 minutes apart. Then after walking oh....about 30minutes, I kept getting contractions every few steps I took. And they'd be so bad I'd have to stop and sit down or grip onto Theo and Mom for dear life. This whole time, every time I went to the bathroom I'd have some kinda discharge. It was brown mucus type stuff, which was the mucus plug, so after I couldn't take much more of the pains, we headed back to the hospital. This was around 5pm. I checked into Labor and Delivery Triage, and they monitored the baby and I for like 2hrs. My blood pressure kept rising. The Dr came in and told me that even though my contractions were still inconsistent, with the blood pressure and a few other factors, I was on the verge of not being okay. Because she didn't want me to go home and then the situation to get worse, she decided to check me into the hospital, induce me on pitocin(sp?). So we finally get all checked in, they put me in a room, Mom and Addie join us. After a little bit on the pitocin, I decide I'm going to go for an epidural. The pain was not hard at the time, but everyone says contractions are worse on pitocin, so I decided to get it before I would regret not getting it. They gave me an epidural and also decided to insert a Fulley Bulb (sp?). The pitocin was to get my contractions consistent and more frequent. The bulb was to get my cervix to open up more and dilate. I dilated to 6cm within 4hours. They had great hope for me. The bulb came out because it had done it's job and the contractions stayed strong and consistent. I could NOT feel them and was in heaven! I felt so good I got to nap through it all. Best sleep EVERRRR! lol By this point we had made it into Saturday morning and I had not dilated anymore. The Dr's decided it was time to take some action.

A Break From The Labor Story....

So, I know it's been awhile! And I know I should finish the "Labor Story", and I will, but it's just now, I have time to blog and I don't feel like talking about that. I have a few things that have just been hurting my heart so very much lately. I have prayed and prayed about it, and I just am at a loss. So I figure blogging is the best solution. LOL So, anyways, here's the deal. I have found through this whole process of getting married and having a child...that life changes will let you know who are your true friends and who aren't. Now, I have had some pretty darn good friends. One's who have been by my side through pretty much everything. So why is it, that all of a sudden, these changes, a certain friend, one of whom I've considered my closest, seem to push them away? I don't understand. I have prayed about this and seeked council over this. I am not in the wrong here sadly. I wish there was something I could blame myself for, because maybe it might make the hurt not nearly as bad. Not only have a read my Bible, prayed, forsook council, talked with this extensively with my husband, I have also tried talking to this friend. And nothing changes. Now, I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself, but I am merely stating that I have recently had a very hard time lately. The c-section was very traumatizing to me. Whether it is to other people doesn't matter....my family who was there can tell you...I will more than likely have post traumatic stress from it all. And I can tell you...that as of right now...that's true. I have a feeling a bit further down the road, I will break down over it all again. I know that certain people will never and don't understand what it feels like to have a c-section...and some women can go through it just fine....I on the other hand did NOT. Anyways, I don't want to go into that now, but the point of that is, do you think this friend knows ANYTHING about how I'm feeling and what I've been dealing with lately?! Nothing! This friend may think they know, but they have NO IDEA!!!!! Lately there's been small efforts to contact me...but to be honest, I haven't wanted to respond to them. I feel like half the efforts are lame excuses. Tell me how they can make so much time to do EVERYTHING else but be there for me?! I don't understand. Someone suggested to me, that maybe this is their way of saying they just are done with me and they don't want to consider themselves close to me anymore. Well...if that's the case...I wish that person would just come out and say it. It would make things so much easier for me!!! It really would. It would be totally unfair to me, but at the same time, whens someone's being honest, can you honestly be mad at them? I don't think I can. At least I try not to be, if, I feel they're being really honest. Anyways, on the upside of all of that...I've learned I have some really good friends in people I didn't exactly know I could be really good friends with. There have been quite a few people who have made such an amazing effort to come and see me and visit with me and make sure I'm doing well. Shannon Baxter, yet again, such an amazing friend, even if she can't be there in person...she texts me and calls me and makes sure that I feel loved by her. Another person like that is Shenise Edmonds. I am SO grateful for that girl! She's def far away from me in person, but texts me, facebooks me, and always makes sure she's there for me. And to think...we've only met in person about 2x's. She also is making a trip here soon, at the end of the month, and is going to come and see me! She's coming from...I think Utah? How amazing is that?! Then there's Laban and Tracy who were amazing and have been the only people to offer to cook a meal and bring it. Oh, actually Mrs Carter did too, but she's sick so we haven't gotten hers yet! LOL Tracy even offered to take days off work to come and help me out. They do not make a ton of money and I know it would be a sacrifice taking off work, but she offered and that geaster moved me to tears. So sweet and kind. Sharyn Thomas drove all the way from VA Beach to visit me with a 5 month old! She spent a nice relaxing afternoon with us and her cute CUTE baby Liam! It was so nice to have her here and I felt so grateful for the fact that she also was willing to drive up and see me. Treneka and Sheneka Gross and Katrina Stewart have been here to see me in MD multiple times. Treneka was even so sweet as to give my Man Man his own personal photo shoot. Also, when I went down to VA for a VERY short trip, they had an early Mother's Day gift waiting for me! There are also Mrs Freed and Rachel Fleming who are coming here soon, but the dates for them to come haven't gotten here yet. LOL Also, I have had overwhelming amounts of help from my Mom and my sister. They have come up, I believe 3x's since the baby was born? Maybe 2, it's late and I can't exactly remember. LOL Mom is always willing to drop anything and come running. The other day, when the baby had been up all night, I went into her bedroom early in the a.m. and asked her to just take the baby for a bit. She no questions asked, jumped right up to help. These kinds of things make me cry now, as I sit and type this. Now I know some of you might say "Oh well, that's her Mom, she's supposed to be like that." I am grateful for my Mom in ways I can't express with words. It doesn't matter whether she's "supposed" to be helpful or not. My sister as well! She's been so helpful and she jumped and done things that go above and beyond what she might normally do. So tell me, with all this love, why is it, that someone who claims to be my best friend and family...can treat me like they're treating me?! How is that possible?! I've come to the conclusion that it's not. No one that truly cares about you, and really loves you, treats someone this way. I have done nothing wrong. Nor do I deserve that kind of treatment. So, even though it hurts my heart so much, I am going to focus on the people that are making overwhelmingly kind gestures. I cry as I type this, because I am so truly touched by these people who have made sacrifices for me. There are also a few other people who have been sweet enough to just text me and ask how I'm doing and tell me they love me and they care, and they don't expect anything back. People like Kim Bosson, Kelly Spellane, Ezekiel Brooks, Kayla Sasser, Jessica Gray and John Sluga. If I forgot anyone I'm really sorry! Anyways, I do feel a bit better, and I'm just going to focus on those who I know really care! Anyways, maybe now that I'm done with this, I'll finish my laboring story! hahahaha!

The Labor Story Part 1-Thursday (3-25-10)

Well.....where to start? So much has happened since the last time I wrote on here! There's just so much to say, and I don't have enough time to sit down and type it all out. Right now I should be taking advantage of the fact that he's sleeping, and I should be showering or something....but instead, I find myself just wanting to type down everything before I forget it all. I guess maybe I should start with him being born. I did write a blog about actually going into labor for real. LOL It was insane.
Basically, getting this kid out...took about 3 days! It was redunk! I was actually in labor...but...well....Let me just start from the beginning. We'll see how far I get. If I can't finish I'll just leave it off and try and finish some other time. So...*deep breathe* Here goes!

Thursday-I spent the day thinking of ways to put myself into labor. I finally decided that I wasn't doing the wrong things...but I wasn't doing it in the right way! Like the walking and what not...I figured that I should do some all in a row and see what happens. So I went to Taco Bell for lunch. I ate some spicy food. Then, I came home...rested a bit. Then Theo came home and this is going to be TMI for some people so I'm giving you a warning. If you don't wanna read it...skip below like two lines. LOL hahahaha Anyways, Theo and I had sex. Very uncomfortable sex, but we managed to get the sperm where it needed to go! hahaha! Then as soon as I was done with that...I went on a long-ish walk. A long walk for a pregnant lady....a short walk for anyone who's fit and un-pregnant. hahahaha! Then when I was done with the walk I climb about...Oooo......6 flights of stairs. Then I took a shower. After that Theo asked me if I wanted to go and hang over at his friend Jamie's house. I said sure why not. We went over there and I started getting some EXTREME cramping. But this I thought to be fake since I'd felt it before and it had managed to do nada! LOL That was around 4pm. The cramping continued and started turning into contractions. I still at this point had no leakage of fluids or anything. So I just ignored it. Well it started to get more than uncomfortable, so Theo and I left Jamie's house around 10p.m. and then drove to the house to get our luggage for the hospital. We ended up at the hospital at about 11p.m. After them examining me they finally announced that I was for sure in active labor and that I had FINALLY dilated 1cm! HALLELUJAH!!!! It only took FOR FREAKING EVER! LOL Anyways, at that point I then called my Mom and Addie and the immediately headed on their way up to MD. The Dr told me that I could go home if I wanted. She said I would get more rest that way since the beginning stages of labor take forever! LOL So Theo and I, once again, left the hospital. We met Mom and Addie here back at the apartment. We all crashed back into bed. When I woke up in the morning, I discovered that my contractions had just stopped. I was mega frustrated! However when I peed I did have some discharge (of which I was pretty sure was my mucus plug). I forgot to mention that before we left early early Friday morning, they did strip my membranes to try and get things going a bit faster. Anyways...we all decide more walking is the solution to getting my labor to pick up again! Joy joy! LOL So we all showered and went to the mall! Okay....I think this is enough for right now. I don't want to over do it. I'm going to go and shower and then probably feed the baby again. Then I'll try and get back on here and we'll do Friday's events! LOL Maybe that's how I'll write these blogs. One day at a time! :) Genius! LOL

I'm In Real Labor Now!!!!!

So, I am very proud to say, I'm am officially in labor!!! It's so exciting! Yesterday I decided to try 3 things back to back. LOL So, we had sex, I walked about a mile, then climb some stairs... VIOLA! It worked! That was about 4pm when I started cramping really hard, and then they started to turn into contractions that I couldn't talk while having. We were at Jamie Hernandez's at the time...so we left there about 10pm and came home then went to the hospital! I was soooooo happy when the Dr checked me and said I was dilated!!!! I am actually in real labor even though I sit typing this right now. LOL The contractions last night were coming less than 10minutes apart, but still fairly sporadically. They have continued and at the moment I am slowly loosing my mucus plug! Hip Hip Hooray!!! My body is finally getting with the program! LOL And little man is getting excited, I can tell. I'm pretty sure he's all ready. LOL So Mom and Addie came up last night. The hospital sent us home so that I could be more relaxed while having the pains. I did get about 4 hours of sleep, but I did wake up every now and again with contractions. So anyways, we're now off to the mall to walk and get these contractions to kick in a bit more! I'm so happy and excited!!!!!! Yipeeeee My little man is on his way!!!! :)

Just A Few Things To Remember

So, there were some text messages that I've received lately that I wanted to put down here because I just wanted to remember them. Most of them are baby related....and it just makes me remember how much some people actually do love and appreciate me.

Shannon Baxter (03-16-10)-Happy Due Date! I wish you manying laboring wishes!

Ezekiel Brooks (03-22-10)-So how ya doin? Mom said your getting your uterus ruptured tomorrow...I think. You excited?

Ezekiel Brooks (03-23-10)-Love you. Hope everything goes smoothly.

Jessica Gray (03-23-10)-Hang in there preggers. That baby will pop out soon enough. He's probably waiting for my birthday like a good little boy. Maybe you just need to have some laughs to go into labor so I suggest busting out some Madea and perhaps some Talidaga Nights. Idk if you like that one but it makes me laugh like crazy. And if you need some major laughs I'm around for this evening because I have a funeral tomorrow and you know I'm sure to deliver the laughs. All in all keep your chin up buttercup and little man will appear soon! Love you!


Shannon Baxter (03-24-10)-Babe, I love you and I hope God just gives you loads of patience and understanding. I pray that your uncomfort will just be taken from you. I love you so much and can't wait to see your beautiful baby! I can't imagine how much this sucks hang in there. You're strong and beautiful. Get naked in my memory! *note*Shannon and I have an awkward understandable relationship to the outside world! ;) lol

Mom (03-24-10)-Nope. Lolligag Sally is takin her SWEET time! Dooptie do!


Anyways, those are some funny texts and just all in all memorable! I also wanted to type out the things I've done to try and induce labor. I want to be able to remember them. I'm going to type suggestions I've found or people have given and whether I've done it yet or not. lol

Ways to Induce Labor:
-Walking-Yes *Done it! All day everyday!
-Sex-Yes *Even as uncomfortable and painful as it's been...we've done it about 2-3x's a week...STILL! This is awkward information for some of you, but I want to be able to remember it...so you're stuck reading it. LOL
-Mexican Food-Yes *Even though I don't like it I've tried a little spice and all it's managed to do is make my stomach hurt. lol
-Rosemary Tea-Yes *That kinda tea is actually meant to soften your cervix and my cervix has been successfully softened to the max! LOL So that works! LOL
-Hot Baths-Yes *Heck yes I've done this! Hot bubble baths. It has successfully made me feel relaxed...but that's about it.
-Castor Oil-No *This is the ONLY thing I haven't tried yet! I'm just so grossed out by the thought. I might get desperate enough though. LOL
-Climbing Stairs-Yes *Although I can only last like less than 5 minutes doing this. It's exhausting!!!!! I believe that is to get the baby to be low...and believe me...the Dr said he's as low as he can get. lol
-Eating Pineapple-Yes *I have done this...not on purpose...but I love cold Pineapple, so I've been eating a ton of that! And believe me...I'm so sure that's done squat for me! LOL
-Having A Good Cry-Yes *Ha! Believe me! I've done more than that! LOL Sooo...that does squat as well. LOL

I believe that's all the myths out there...and I've done all but one. If anyone can remember any other one....let me know! I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting a few....I know I've pretty much done everything everyone has suggested me to do! Sooo...I guess that's it for today. The goal for today.....staying positive and forgetting baby worries! Yesterday I was pretty successful! Let's see how it goes today! :)

A Failed Attempt

So if you've been keeping up with my blog, you know what yesterday I went in to the Dr to have my membranes stripped. Well....that did NOT go as planned. They told me last week, that if he didn't come by this week, they'd strip my membranes and it had a 90% chance of putting me into labor! Okay...good! Sounds great! Well...what they didn't tell me is that they can't strip your membranes unless you've dilated! WTH?! I had no idea there was a small chance I wouldn't have this baby by yesterday or today! NOT A CLUE! So I go in there very happy that hopefully it's my last appointment and that I will finally be able to meet my little man. Well.....when I found out she couldn't do it...and believe me...she did try, I broke down. I had no idea! I busted into tears. It was very emotionally tolling on me. It's not fair of them to tell me something and not tell me ALL of something. Like I said, I didn't even know there was a chance I couldn't have it done. So basically...unless I dilate here soon...I'm screwed and they have to let me go 41 weeks before I'm induced. SUCKS!!!! I'm 39 weeks today. So if I STILL haven't dilated by next Tuesday (another regularly scheduled appointment) then they will schedule my induction date, which will be the following Tuesday...unless I can really convince them to let me do it earlier. Which sucks! I had hoped that we 3 (Theo, Me and Brent) could celebrate our first Easter together...but that looks like it might not happen. I can not tell you the devastation I felt in my heart yesterday. And what hurt even more...is I texted my very best friend in the whole world and the response was "I'm sorry. I'm on it" cause I had asked her to pray. That's IT!!!!!! What is that?! No sympathy...no NOTHING! And I understand if maybe she was busy at the time, but no checking back in with me or anything. Anyways...it was just all hurtful and I felt so broken down. I would've entirely lost it, if it weren't for my wonderful husband and Mom. They were both with me at the time. They took me to the mall! We went to Dave and Busters and played some games...it really was fun. I still was really broken down and today my body is pretty sore today and my emotions very raw. But after a long cuddle and talk with my husband last night....I've decided that I'm no longer worrying about when he comes. When he comes, he comes....until then...I'll do what I'm supposed to, and that's all I can do. It's very hard to deal with the fact that you are in no control, but this is a lesson God is trying to teach me, and I need to learn it. Even if it hurts me. Also, the problem, just to note here, is NOT the baby. They said he's done everything he's supposed to and he is ready to go! He's big enough, developed enough and down as low as he can possibly go right now. They said my cervix is greatly softened...I'm just not dilating. So basically the problem is my body, and not my baby. My Mom had that problem with my sister and I. We were all ready to go and my mom would NOT dilate. So apparently it runs in the family. So anyways, I have to off right now, but anyways...that's the update for now. I may try and type more later! Thanks for reading along if anyone is! :)

Going into the Dr.

We're about to leave here in a minute for the Dr's appointment. I can't type very much right now...but I wanted to note a few things that are on my mind, so I wouldn't forget them.

Will I miss this feeling of being overly pregnant?

When I shaved my legs today, will it actually be the last time I'm doing it while pregnant...and will I miss it?

How is it that my belly can get so large and in charge that shaving my legs can be so painful...speaking of which...I pulled a muscle while shaving....not nice. lol

Will stripping my membranes hurt unbearably? Will I cry?

I have the best support team going in with me, God, Theo and My Mom!

Will I cry this whole process?

I know I can make it, but I now have the responsibility of a child on my hands.

Will my son like me?

Will nursing hurt so much I will cry?

How much of this crying business will I actually do? lol

I think that's it for now.....I really gotta be going! Hopefully next time I write this, I won't be pregnant anymore. :)

Hopefully tomorrow is the day.....

So tomorrow is my regularly scheduled Dr's appointment. They are supposed to strip my membranes. I'm SO looking forward to it. The Dr told me that 90% of women will go into labor after that process. It's kinda a natural way of getting things going. So, I'm really excited, that hopefully I won't have to experience anymore fake labor. LOL But as much as I'm excited....I'm also very much nervous. This is the last time I can be a child. LOL I am officially an adult now. I will have a child to care for. Not a child I'm Nannying or babysitting or borrowing for the day.... my child. I and my husband are responsible for his raising and care. So it's just a lot of pressure that I'm getting really nervous about. Also, I'm a bit nervous about the actual birthing process...I just have been praying that God give me the strength to get through it. I know HE will, because HE's awesome like that....but anyways. Thankfully My Momma is here with me, so that is VERY comforting! LOL Anyways, I gotta be off...I just finished coloring Mom's hair and I think we'll be going out to eat here soon! Anyways, prayers would be appreciated! :)

Still Waiting.....

So, here we are.....2 days past his due date, and does little man show ANY sign of coming out?! Oh no! Not a single bit! LOL The Dr's say my body is all ready to deliver, but that I'm not dilated at all. Grrrreat! It's rather frustrating! I know this kid is huge, and he needs to get out now! LOL Anyways, next Tuesday, if little man still hasn't made his appearance, the plan is for the Dr's to scrape my membranes. The Dr said that 90% of the time that succeeds in putting women into labor. I pray that day comes quickly, because I'm really dying here. My belly is huge and hard as a rock. I have to literally roll from side to side in bed, to try and get enough momentum to lift myself up out of bed. I mean....this is getting to be a little bit too much. LOL My belly is sticking out so far that I have entirely lost sight of my feet. I can't see anything! LOL Yesterday I almost fell...which was reallllll nice. NOT! LOL Thankfully my husband happened to be right there to catch me. But in the meantime, I'm pretty sure I twisted an awkward part of my belly and it still hurts this morning. *sigh* OH well! Let's see.....besides that. I have gone back to the beginning stages of pregnancy. Where all I wanted to do was sleep. I'm so serious right now....I can barely do any work, and when I do....I need a nap. This is just redunk! lol I'm so eager for this pregnancy process to be over. I realized that the reason I'm probably so miserable was because I was overweight to begin with, then add baby weight...and POOF! You're miserable! LOL So I'm determined to loose a bunch of weight before I get pregnant again. The goal is get get below 200! If I can do that...I will be very happy! The good news is, I've only gained 16lbs my whole pregnancy!!!!! Go me!!!! I'm very proud of how well I've done for the most part, with this pregnancy. Eating well, walking a lot...and in general living healthy. Although, of course that fades off every now and again for the occasional french fries or donuts. LOL But hey, at least it's not often right? Anyways, speaking of being tired...it's time for my morning nap. LOL I've been up since 5:30a.m. and it's not 7:45a.m which means...I've been up long enough, and done enough work, to where I deserve a nap! LOL That's all for now folks! :)

Still no sign of baby.....

So, still....no baby! I'm getting really frustrated! I don't want to be pregnant ANY MORE! I had a regular schedule week check up yesterday and it went okay. My diet and Gestational Diabetes are going well, so that's good, but I saw a Dr that I HATE and can't stand again! I need to remember to have them put on file that I never want to see her again! Aunt Agsby (my sister Addie) went with me to the Dr and she made me laugh because she was like "I dunno, that girls just rubs me the wrong way!" Ugh! That's how that Dr makes me feel. Terrible! Anyways, they still want me to go into labor on my own, but at this rate, I feel entirely hopeless. I mean really! How long does it take for a fully developed baby to make his appearance?! I'm just wondering! Can anyone give me a day? A time? Something? lol So anyways, that's all I have to say right now. I'm hungry and I've been working all morning on cleaning the house. It's a pit lately. So I'm going to go and find something for lunch, stuff my face and then probably pass out from exhaustion. Even though not even half the house is clean yet. *sigh* House work just never ends. It's redunk! LOL

Another False Alarm

So I thought I would blog about my recent experience with Labor and Delivery (L&D).
So today, I woke up basically feeling worn down. Isn't that sad? You sleep all night only to wake up feeling like you've barely got any rest. LOL Anyways, I wake up....and I decide that no matter what my body says, we're going out to run errands. hahaha! So I make a mental list in my head of all the stuff I need to take care of before I leave. That included a pretty big pile of emails that I need to send out. So I spend about 3 hours of my morning doing that while eating an everything bagel with cream cheese! Oh so yummy! Anyways, after that's done, I get my "Go Green" grocery shopping bags together. Get my sale ads, get my water bottle filled up, gather my husband's running shoes because he asked me to bring them to him at work, and grab a couple other things I might need....and just as I get my shoes on, and reach for my sunglasses that hang on the little mirror key holder thingy we have by the door, I realize, my car keys are gone. Of course I know who took them! My wonderful husband. LOL So I call him, trying to keep the panic down, and ask him where they are. Of course, what was the answer? "I dunno babe!" UGH! Not cool! I panic very easily and get very upset is important things are missing. So I search the house! After doing so, I finally collapse on the bed to let all inevitable tears flow! I was so upset. I have a certain routine to keep me from getting upset and I get very much affected by that if something's out of place. So after crying for about 5 minutes, I decide to just leave the house unlocked, take the spare Envoy key, and get going. I wasn't going to let this bring me down! Oh no! lol So, I journey out, and start my errands. Still not feeling all the happiest. After I got to my husbands work, drop off his shoes, take care of a few other things there at his work, I then head into town. It's about 11a.m. at this point. I realize a slow cramping in my belly area, but decide, I've had enough brining me down on this day, I won't take anymore. LOL So I ignore it and I go to A.C. Moore. I picked out a frame to frame my Mom's birthday gift(I'll talk about that in another blog), found some cute wrapping paper and a bow. Leave there. Go over to Aldi, because Aldi is my new favorite store! They have whole fresh pineapples for $1.69! How awesome is that? Anyways, I grab 2 for us and 2 for my Mom and a few other things we needed. After Aldi I really start noticing that my cramping is getting a little bit more bothersome. Not that it was painful, just more noticeable than anything. After that I figure I probably need to eat soon, cause maybe that's what's causing the cramping. Well I wanted to fit in just one more errand. Wal-Mart. BINGO! They have a subway in there! I can get a sub, pick out the birthday cards I need to, and a few other things. So as I'm in Wal-Mart the belly cramping starts to move to my lower area. It did start on the top of my belly. So I rush through finishing at Wal-Mart. I'm exhausted at this point, so I feel like I barely make it in the door before I collapse. I am, at this point starting to get a little bit more concerned about the cramping because I don't know if that's normal or not. I decide that I will just lay out on the sofa, eat and drink some water to see if they go away. Well by the time I did that, and a few other things, it was for sure not going away. And by this point it's after 3:30pm. I call my Mom and tell her I'm thinking about calling the Dr. She suggests I go on a brisk walk, shower then go into L&D. So I went on a very fast walk, but of course I don't last very long. My energy sucks these days! Anyways, after I shower, I sit down a bit to see if the cramping is still there. It most definitely still is! lol So Theo and I finish packing our hospital suitcase and pillow bag and we take off to L&D. Once we get there it's the same routine. Pee in a cup, hook you up to the monitor, take your temp, check your blood pressure and ask you the normal run of questions. "What are you feeling?" "For how long?" etc etc. On and on goes the questioning. LOL So come to find out in the end (after having a midwife check me) that I was for sure having contractions, but I wasn't exactly in labor yet. *sigh* Woah is me! LOL hahahahaha! I was encouraged because then I knew I wasn't making anything up, but discouraged at the same time, because I had hoped I was in actual labor. But they said I did a great job by coming in, and that it's just my body getting ready. It could take a night to get ready and kick over into real labor or it could take weeks. Yikes! Let's hope it's not weeks! LOL This weekend would work out great! hahahaha! So that's my story. And I will continue to ramble on because it's late at night. So I'm going to call it an end, and hit the sack...only to wake up still feeling exhausted I'm sure! :) Such is the life of a 36 week pregnant woman! LOL :) Good Night Blogging World! <3

My Shannon

I just wanted to write a specific blog about one of the bestest friends I've ever had! That would be my Shannon Baxter. First of all, I've known her since I was like 6 or 7 I think. She was little. VERY little. LOL But we struck up a friendship and we had good times together. So far, she really has been one of the only friends to really pay attention to me, and when I need it most, she ALWAYS comes through. I've always tried to take care, when my friends are in trouble, or having hard time, I've tried to take care to pay attention and try and do something special. And I almost always came a runnin when they needed a friend. Even if that meant driving a long way. Anyways, Shannon has been the only friend to return that. I like being surprised, and she knows that, so what did she do this past Friday. She planned secretly with my husband to surprising me by showing up and spending the night with me since Theo had to work. How amazing is that?! Not that you try and keep track of what friend did what and who's better than who, but when she does things like that, it totally puts her at the top of my list. Like for example, when everyone during my wedding was complaining about one particular bridesmaid, instead of going to that bridesmaid and telling her to pipe down and remember that I was the bride, they all complained to me, which only added to my stress. But guess who was the ONLY one defending me like they should've been?! Shannon! She went very tastefully to that person, privately as well, and told them, that they needed to remember that this was about me and etc. I didn't even find out about it right away, but it meant so much to me. There are small things that people don't realize how much they actually mean. Like for example, one day, when one of my friends was having a rough night, I had no idea what was exactly going down, but I put together a "Care" kit full of sweet/salty snacks, and alcohol and soda....LOL I really didn't have the money for all that, but I knew, that alone would help the situation, and me being there. Things like that people never do for me, except for Shannon. Its even been a hard transition to be single and have a whole bunch of friends, to being married and still want those same friends to be there, and they act like because I have a husband, I don't need them as much or something. That's so not true. Because when you have a close girlfriend....no guy can ever replace that. So there have been small things along the way that certain friends have done, but they have never been like the stuff Shannon's done. Anyways, I just appreciated it so much I decided to dedicate a blog to her! LOL She more than deserves it! :)

I'm so confused! lol

Okay, so I recently have collected some followers! I'm not exactly sure what that means! So! I was hoping maybe some people can give me some tips. Treneka, I can see yours and who you are, but there's a couple people on here I have NO idea who they are! LOL I just basically got this blog so that I could record things I wanted to remember easier. Being a first year of marriage and a new baby.....I figure typing will actually get it done. LOL Anyways, if anyone has any tips....help a sistah out! LOL Thanks guys! :)

Woah! What a Weekend!

So, the weekend of my baby shower finally came! I was so very happy and excited for it, even if my body wasn't so much. LOL I was so freaking exhausted all weekend and that's pretty much how I've stayed the past few days. I'm praying that God make me go into labor soon. I'm so sick of being pregnant...it's getting really REALLY uncomfortable. *sigh* Anyways, I had a wonderful baby shower! Several people showed up, which was nice because it showed they really cared! I got so much stuff, I don't even know what to do with all of it! We still didn't get everything we need like a Boppy, baby swing, breast pump or....something else we were missing. I can't remember right now. But I have some returns I can make, and hopefully with those, I can get what we need. I've been trying to unpack all day, but there's so much stuff, I just kinda get exhausted. Already I have a whole hamper full of baby clothes to wash and fold and get ready for little man. Ally did a wonderful job with the baby shower. I never imagined I could have such a nice shower! And it felt good to have one after not having a Wedding Shower. It was just all over very nice.
The day after that was Valentines Day!!!!! Theo and I celebrated our 1st V-Day as a married couple! It was so much fun! Before we left for VA for the weekend, we had bought a King size mattress that's to be delivered this Wednesday. So yesterday (V-Day) on the way back to MD, we shopped around at furniture places for bed frames. We found one at I think....well...I can't remember the name. LOL Anyways, we bought a King size bed frame for our mattress. Sadly that won't be here for another 2 weeks. But at least in 2 weeks we will have a full new bedroom set. I mean, we won't have a dresser set or anything that goes with it, but I am fully satisfied with the mattress and it being King sized!!!! I just know I'm so going to love it! :) I can't even wait to sleep on it! I only have 2 more nights! :) WhooooHoooo!
As for my sugar levels. I was freaking out, because they were higher than they used to be, and I wasn't eating anything horrid. Anyways, I finally got to talk to a Dr today and she was like "OH! They're fine! Don't worry about it, see you next Tuesday!" lol I was like "Oh! Phew! Okay!" lol So thank the Lord for that! I'm still praying I deliver soon though....I'm so uncomfortable being pregnant and as long as I have enough time to sort through all this stuff we got for the baby shower, then I'll be ready to have him. I'm getting to the point where I just wait around all day hoping today might be the day. LOL But it hasn't happened yet, duh! LOL Anyways, I guess that's all I wanted to write!
OH! Also, I wanted to say that Theo and I after furniture shopping, we went to go and see Dear John in movie theaters for V-Day....it was actually surprisingly better than I thought it was going to be. I like the fact that Theo and I could be together and enjoy each other's company and just talk. After the movie we just cuddled and talked about what we did/didn't like about the movie and then when we got home and went to bed (because he had to work this a.m.) we just laid there and held each others hands until we fell asleep. It's things like that, that make me appreciate God bringing him back into my life. He's the sweetest most amazing husband any girl could DREAM of asking for! :) Anyways, I guess that's it...I should get back to unpacking. *sigh* I need someone to entertain me while doing this! LOL

A Day At the Doctors....

Wow! What a day today has been! I figured I should blog about it, so I can remind myself what I don't want to happen in the future. LOL
So today I had a Dr appointment at 9:30a.m. I knew last night that I didn't wanna go by myself because I had been emotional. Lately I've felt on the verge of crying all the time. LOL Last night Theo had taken me to the hospital because for the past 4 days I hadn't been able to breathe. So when I called the nurse, she told me to go to Labor and Delivery. So Theo took me and after being there for about....2-3 hours (of course I was hooked up to a pulse reader, baby monitor and my monitor) they just decided it was asthma flaring up because of maybe the weather. Anyways....after that (and freaking out because Theo and I don't have bags packed or anything. lol) I was really emotional. So last night I asked Theo if maybe he could take me today to my appointment. Just leave work for a couple of hours. He said he thought he could. Well when I wake up this morning he texts me and says that he can't because he has a class. I almost cried. But I sucked it up. Got ready to go and took myself. Now, I was already nervous because of the massive amounts of snow we've been getting! We've had a lot of snow...I think 30 inches. Anyways, so I really didn't wanna drive. It was kinda rough getting the Journey out to the main roads, but I did it. Then when I got it to the highway, the whole car started shaking like the tires needed to be balanced and etc. Well we just got that done so I knew that couldn't be the reason. So I just took my time. I finally got to the hospital. They have a parking garage that's right across from the main hospital door that you have to go in. Which is highly convenient. Anyways, there's a lady out there flagging me to pass. I was like "OH NO! What do I do?!" I dunno where to go? Every time I'd been there I'd only ever parked in the parking garage. So I go down a bit further to where the exit is and there's a couple of cars stopped in front of me. I wait a bit and then I realize there's a guy out there telling them what's what. Well I'm a bit relived, because otherwise I wouldn't have known what to do. He let's about 2 cars in the back way of the garage and flags the other cars on. Well, I ask him what the deal is and he gives me attitude and is like "This garage is closed! You have to go down to the employee parking. There's not charge for parking today!" I was like "Well how far is that?! I'm 33 weeks pregnant and I can't be walking far!" He was so rude...he mumbled something about a shuttle and then waved me on and continued talking to the next guy. I of course drove off in tears. When I get employee parking (which is ALLLLLLLLLL the way around the other side and down a couple hills....of course the lot is almost full and I have to park all the way down at the bottom. I was so mad. And I had a full bladder so that I could pee in the cup when I got to my appointment. So I had to walk about a half a mile to get to the hospital door...and which point I STILL had to walk down to the other end of the building. It was redunk! I was in pain because my bladder was so full and my back was hurting because that's what it's been doing lately. I was fighting tears the WHOLE time I was walking. By the time I get there...they take FOREVER to check me in. Well basically I'm getting tired of typing all of this and I have other things I gotta get to doing. But basically in this same trip they also bullied me into getting the H1N1 shot. Which I had avidly said over and over again that I didn't want to take. They basically didn't even wait for me to say "yes or no" they basically said "This is what you're getting and you're getting it today." It was horrid. I was so upset, because I knew the only reason they had bullied me was b/c I was emotionally unstable and couldn't handle fighting them off.It was so wrong of them and so help me if my baby comes out with defects because of it. The thing was....that God had given me such a peace about not getting it that I was okay with it. But yeah. This is a huge lesson I have to learn and it's hard. Cause believe me...my emotions today were so out of whack. And the thing is...it's all solely due to pregnancy. Yipee! LOL OH! Another thing I wanna remember is they told me if my sugar levels didn't improve in 1 week they were going to have to put me on insulin and which case then I'd have to come into the hospital 2x's a week just for them to monitor the baby and then there is chance of sudden death for the baby. Let me say this now. If that happens. I'm not taking insulin. They can induce me early. Cause this is all ridiculous to go through for just 35 more days of pregnancy. It's just too much. So anyways, I'm off to do some laundry and have ice cream, test my sugars and cuddle with my love. Goodness knows I need it after today. Phew!

Snowed In

Oh man! Another snow! This is getting plain ridiculous! We've already had like a bajillion inches of snow! Why must it continue? LOL And right now my pregnancy hormones are RAGING and I want Snickers and Sonic! It's so redunk! LOL I wish sometimes, that you could go on strike with your pregnancy hormones...but that doesn't really work. LOL Anyways, at least Theo's home with me! He's actually been really productive! He has unpacked a lot of boxes and thrown away a lot of stuff. A lot of this stuff piling around was his anyways. LOL I on the other hand, have been lame all day. All I've done is sit around eat, watch movies and lounge. LOL I was attempting some work now, but then I decided I wanted to blog instead. LOL Go me! Procrastination is the key! hahahaha!
So I wanted to actually vent on here. I'm so frustrated right now with a certain friend. I will not name who, but I'm sure to some people who might read this, it'll be obvious. Anyways, first of all, I'm irritated because this friend NEVER comes to see me. It's very hurtful. It's been since November that we've been in our new place and the only time she's come is for Josh's wedding and she spent the night just so she didn't have to drive home late. She makes time to go see other people and do other things, but it doesn't seem like she ever thinks of me. Like for example. She went to a friends house for a snow storm, but did she think about coming here for that? No? I just get so hurt because it seems like she only wants to talk about the issues in her life and etc and she does check on me, but there seems to be no effort to come visit me or see how I'm really doing. I've ignored it for awhile, but I just keep feeling hurt and upset over the whole thing. It keeps bugging me. Also, her Mom isn't coming to my baby shower. That's hurtful too, because...there's no good reason! I wanted her there just like I wanted other people there. This friend won't tell me why, and in the past she would've. I don't know what's up. She doesn't share things with me. I'm sure this other friend of hers who she's snowed in with knows. And that's what makes it hurt even more. I think I deserve an explanation. If it's not about me then why can't I know? It's just all unfair and hurtful to me. I thought blogging about it may help, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I just don't think it's all right and I'm getting tired of feeling this way. I've prayed about it and asked God if I should feel this way, but it seems that my feelings are legit. I haven't sinned by doing anything about it. I've just kept it all to myself. Maybe that's the problem? I dunno. It might be. I may need to say something. But....the thing is....this is not the kinda thing I wanna do over the phone. I have refused to go down there for a reason. She makes time for everyone but me. Also, I am almost due and I really don't wanna spend much time out of state. It just seems fair that she come up here. Especially since the time I have been married every time I've seen her, it's been me going down there. So, yeah. I dunno what I'm going to do. I guess I should talk to Theo about it, cause I'm really feeling hurt over it, and I guess I should say something. *sigh* I just really don't want to do it over the phone. And about the Baby Shower thing...I mean...REALLY?! What's so secretive that I can't know?! Am I crazy for thinking that someone close to me should at least give me an explanation as to why they're not coming? Maybe I'm a little hyped about the baby shower too, because I never got a Bridal Shower. So I guess I feel like this is it. This is very important to me, and so many people have just acted like it's nothing. I don't like that. But you know what....I guess in the long run, the important people will be there. The one's who really care will be. *sigh* Meanwhile I'll just hurt over the people who don't really deserve my hurt. I guess.....I thought they did...but I guess that's a no.
Well I guess I'm done venting for now. I should do some work before Theo gets mad. LOL He won't really get mad though. He loves me too much! :) I freaking love that man!

P.S. The mexicans that live underneath us are about to get murdered by me! They keep blasting their freaking music! GARRRRRRR!!!!!

Why I love him....

So, last night was one of the best nights I've ever had. Just a for warning, this blog is going to be mushy, at least Hannah-kinda-mushy, and so if you don't wanna read it, don't! LOL Don't say I didn't warn you! LOL Anyways last night I was so very much reminded of how much I love my husband and why I married him. We snuggled into bed around 6pm. Really early I know. But when it's Sunday night and he has to work the next day, we always do that, so that he get's early really good sleep. Anyways, we snuggled into bed and we were watching TLC. It was this crazy documentary, basically, on the worlds strongest toddler. It was crazy insane. Anyways, that go us talking. We talked and talked and talked. Just cuddle in each others arms. I love sharing my deepest secrets with him, because I know he won't judge me and he loves me. He brought up the fact that I was so crazy but that's why he loved me. He said "You're so cute! That's why I married you!" and I was like "Hey! That's kinda shallow!" lol He began to explain that cute wasn't very much about looks. Where as, he thinks I'm cute, look wise, he was talking about my over all personality. I thought it was very cute the way he described me. He knows me so well. LOL Which of course, yes, is a VERY good thing. Meanwhile, as we're talking, I heard it start to rain. I got very excited, turned off the TV and then opened the window a bit so that we could hear the rain. I snuggled back in his arms and then we continued to talk with the sound of rain in the background. It made me feel so safe, so secure, so content. We talked about everything. Even small things like my driving record. LOL Totally random, but we just talked. And it just made me so grateful that God brought such an amazing love into my life. I know that people say a love can fade over years, but last night as we lay in each others arms falling asleep, I prayed to God and thanked him for being me Theodore Scheungrab. I praised God, that even when I thought I knew what I was doing over the years, HE made me wait for a love like this. I hope because we did things the Godly way, that our love never fades. It would be extremely sad. Meanwhile, as we grow older, wiser and more mature I hope our love only deepens to the type that is found no where else. So yeah, I had to blog about this, because it was one of the most beautiful nights EVER! So anyways, I must be off now. I gotta shower. I'm smelly! Ew! LOL hahahaha!

A Lovely Day at Home....

I love when my husband is off during the week. It's so relaxing and we get to spend so much time together. It's simple stuff that always means the most. Today, we did nothing but sit together and watch good movies like UP, Office Space, and Yes Man, work out at the gym, cook dinner together, laugh together, talk, lounge around and nap. To me, that's one of the best days! It probably has a lot do with the fact that I'm hugely pregnant and don't want to do a whole lot. LOL But still, the fact that we were perfectly content just being together not doing much of anything, means the world to me. We will be married a year at the end of June, but some how it feels like we've been together since....like ever! LOL We were actually together a year (dating, engaged, married) this past December. It just seems like time has flown by, but yet, it hasn't gone by fast enough. I dunno if that makes any sense, but yeah. Tomorrow we probably won't do much of anything either. Although he did say he had to go to Ft Meade for some stuff. So we may do that. I like getting out of the house, even if I am exhausted by the time we get back. LOL On a side note, I can't wait for my little boy to arrive. It's getting so close! I mean, we still have 2 months to go, but honestly, I don't think he's going to make it that long. He's been kicking like crazy like he wants to bust outta there! I don't blame him! LOL I have Gestational Diabetes and can only eat a limited amount of things, so he's probably all like "Where's the Slurpees and Big Mac's I love so dearly?!" lol =P Not really, but yeah. I can't wait to see what he looks like! I hope he'll be the cutest little bugger in all the earth. LOL Anyways, I guess that's about it for today. I hope I stay on the journaling thing. I need to. Good Night Everyone!

First Attempt?

So, this is my first attempt at writing a blog. Of course I've tried blogging before, but it was brought to my attention by another friend getting it, that there are many milestones in my life, past and present. How ever will I remember it all if I don't write it down?! And typing is SO much easier than writing. I did that last year and I was actually fairly successful at journaling. It just faded off because writing is a lot harder than typing. Anyways, this blog will hopefully help keep me on track with some things.

I'm not going to write very much more because I have several of things I need to get done and I'm procrastinating. I'm sure, if you stick with this blog enough, you will probably find that procrastination is my biggest problem. LOL

Well that's all for now. Maybe more later! Who knows! Wish me luck!