A Failed Attempt

So if you've been keeping up with my blog, you know what yesterday I went in to the Dr to have my membranes stripped. Well....that did NOT go as planned. They told me last week, that if he didn't come by this week, they'd strip my membranes and it had a 90% chance of putting me into labor! Okay...good! Sounds great! Well...what they didn't tell me is that they can't strip your membranes unless you've dilated! WTH?! I had no idea there was a small chance I wouldn't have this baby by yesterday or today! NOT A CLUE! So I go in there very happy that hopefully it's my last appointment and that I will finally be able to meet my little man. Well.....when I found out she couldn't do it...and believe me...she did try, I broke down. I had no idea! I busted into tears. It was very emotionally tolling on me. It's not fair of them to tell me something and not tell me ALL of something. Like I said, I didn't even know there was a chance I couldn't have it done. So basically...unless I dilate here soon...I'm screwed and they have to let me go 41 weeks before I'm induced. SUCKS!!!! I'm 39 weeks today. So if I STILL haven't dilated by next Tuesday (another regularly scheduled appointment) then they will schedule my induction date, which will be the following Tuesday...unless I can really convince them to let me do it earlier. Which sucks! I had hoped that we 3 (Theo, Me and Brent) could celebrate our first Easter together...but that looks like it might not happen. I can not tell you the devastation I felt in my heart yesterday. And what hurt even more...is I texted my very best friend in the whole world and the response was "I'm sorry. I'm on it" cause I had asked her to pray. That's IT!!!!!! What is that?! No sympathy...no NOTHING! And I understand if maybe she was busy at the time, but no checking back in with me or anything. Anyways...it was just all hurtful and I felt so broken down. I would've entirely lost it, if it weren't for my wonderful husband and Mom. They were both with me at the time. They took me to the mall! We went to Dave and Busters and played some games...it really was fun. I still was really broken down and today my body is pretty sore today and my emotions very raw. But after a long cuddle and talk with my husband last night....I've decided that I'm no longer worrying about when he comes. When he comes, he comes....until then...I'll do what I'm supposed to, and that's all I can do. It's very hard to deal with the fact that you are in no control, but this is a lesson God is trying to teach me, and I need to learn it. Even if it hurts me. Also, the problem, just to note here, is NOT the baby. They said he's done everything he's supposed to and he is ready to go! He's big enough, developed enough and down as low as he can possibly go right now. They said my cervix is greatly softened...I'm just not dilating. So basically the problem is my body, and not my baby. My Mom had that problem with my sister and I. We were all ready to go and my mom would NOT dilate. So apparently it runs in the family. So anyways, I have to off right now, but anyways...that's the update for now. I may try and type more later! Thanks for reading along if anyone is! :)