My heart is full and my throat is tight.

I don't even know if that title makes any sense, but....that's what I'm feeling. I'm feeling like my heart is full in some areas and breaking in others. I have this permanent lump in my throat that's been swelling there for 2 weeks now. Since Theo left I have had THE hardest time. It's been so rough. It seems like he leaves and all hell breaks loose. I hate to say that, but it's true. I mean, it's the first time we've been apart since we've been married. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. But I just wasn't ready for it. Then again, are you ever? I don't think so. I know the 1st time is always the hardest, and the more he goes away, the more I'll be able to deal with it better. But it just didn't help that life seemed to go up in flames when he left. *sigh* It seriously has just been one thing after another. And maybe not everything has been huge, but even when little things stack up, they can make one huge mess. On the upside, God is amazing! HE has seen me struggling emotionally and he has brought me SO much support! I have hit a whole new level of friendship with Heather Thomas. I feel like we really I guess, opened up to each other more and that's nice. I have an amazing friend Deb, who is always there to email me and send me amazing messages. She's such a good friend. It just really sucks that she's in Massachusetts and she isn't close by. I can tell you if she was, we'd be spending ALL of our time together! LOL Anyways also Sharyn Thomas (not related to Heather) sent me a card. It came at EXACTLY the right moment. It was just so sweet. It was encouraging and everything. Then there's Treneka who I talk to about once a week if not more, who is always honest with me and always helps me in tough situations. Anyways, there is a whole bunch of other stuff I'd like to say, but I just am not feeling up to typing it all out right now. I feel a little bit better after typing this.