Too Loose Weight or Enjoy Food?

I really feel like I'm going to have a breakdown. I'm seriously on the verge of tears. So I thought...."Hey! Probably better to blog then run out to McDonald's and grab that Big Mac and Fries you can't seem to get out of your head. Or that Chinese Food you've been wanting for a month!" So, I'm going to voice my frustrations here. All week (since the 1st of August) I've eaten 100% healthy. No splurges. Not many sweets. If I did have something sweet it was a Fit and Active low fat/no sugar type thing. Sugar has never been my problem though. CARBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lots and lots of salty carbs!!!!!!!! I have a headache right now. I'm pretty sure it's from stressing out over not being satisfied enough over what I eat. It all comes down to, I'm not happy eating healthy. Which is why I'm as fat as I am. I say that with all honesty. I truly 100% admit I have a junk food addiction and I think today is when it's really hitting me hard. There is NO WAY in heck any salad will be delicious enough as a Big Mac. NO WAY! NO way ever! I know some people enjoy fruits and veggies and that's amazing for them! That's what satisfies them. But that's not what satisfies me.I love sitting down to a meal and consuming it and feeling "Ahhhhhhhhhhh....that was SOOOOO yummy!" I don't feel that way after eating a salad with grilled chicken bits. It's not my thing. I know eventually I'll be able to eat things like that (occasionally....I'm not trying to eat them regularly ever again)but for now....I just can't. It'll be one whole week tomorrow. Granted I've seen the results I feel satisfied and VERY happy with. I am currently sitting wearing ANOTHER pair of underwear that was too small. And that's a GREAT feeling. But I'd like to feel great in what I'm eating too. All those people who talk about the great highs they come off of after a great work-out or healthy meal....yeah. Not for me. I only feel high enough when I loose weight or see changes in my body. And since that doesn't happen every day..it's VERY hard to stay focused and dedicated and not feel like you're going to break down from lack of junk-food. Truth is...I wish there was some magical cure, so I wouldn't have to worry about any of this. But the reality is, it doesn't exist. Some people can be skinny all their lives and eat whatever they want. That's not the body God's given me. I need to do the best I can for the body I have. So while I'll probably STILL cry.....I need to not cave today. I need to hold out a little bit longer. Plus I'm having a party this Friday and I'll be preparing snacks for everyone...so I'll probably indulge a little bit then. So I really can't afford to break this diet right now. God can give me the strength to get through this. I just have to trust. Oh boy. That's SOOOOOOOOOOO much easier said than done.