A Nice Hot Shower

So, some people go on walks to clear there head. Me? I take a hot shower. Rather when I get the chance to take a nice hot shower.....I like to sort things out. For example...how steaming mad I am right now. Maybe not mad. Maybe just fed up. Frustrated, even. Sometimes life just doesn't play out how we think it should. Which you'd think a person would get used to...but nah. They don't. Every time something pops up that we don't like and don't expect....we cry and complain about it. I mean...after all...it's just human nature. Right? I don't really want to go into too many details of what's frustrating me right now...because...well some people DO read this...and any time I venture out to say how I really feel, more people end up reading it then I expected and I get unwanted advice/criticism for it. "Oh sure! Don't read all my other nice posts, just read the one where I vent and loose my head a little!" Anyways, continuing on...can you tell I'm in an irritable mood? I am frustrated with life right now. I have really been mostly content living in Michigan thus far. The weather here is just SO nice! I have spent more time outdoors here then I have ever! Well okay...when I was a kid I played outside all day ever day...but since childhood. It's hardly ever too muggy or too hot. It's always so nice! And allergy wise? I do so much better here. My asthma doesn't flare up every single time it's hot. It's so nice. Anyways...so that being said, I've loved my time here in MI. But it's not everything. I have no girlfriends here. I'm setting up play dates and etc...but I have yet to have much girl bonding time without having to keep an eye on the boys etc. Being in a house with all males...well...it's just not the charmed life...that's for sure. So anyways, now this blog has been cut short because I have to go and take care of some things. But anyways...at least I vented for a bit. *sigh*

The Diary of a Frustrated Fat Momma!

Yes, I am calling myself fat because that is what I am. I'm not using it to define me, but the truth is I've totally and completely let myself go. And that's no one's fault but my own! I let myself get out of control, then I had 2 babies in 2 years. That doesn't do nice things to your body. Especially when you were fat to begin with. Some may say "Oh it's baby weight" WRONG! I lost all baby weight pretty much by the time I walked out of the hospital. Mostly because my boys were near 10lbs and so after they came out, there wasn't much baby weight left. LOL!!!! But anyways, I seemed to gain weight after I had them. I know with Collin I gained like 30lbs after him. I had postpartum depression and....well....30lbs later, I'm thankfully cured of my postpartum depression...but have this weight to show for it. It SUCKS!!!!! There's no way to tell a new mother that her life will never be her own again. There's no way to prepare them, that after children, your time will basically never be YOUR time. I'm not trying to sound like I don't appreciate my boys, or that I don't love them. I'm not even ungrateful. But life is a learning process and I just didn't know that after having the boys my life never has time for me. LOL!!!! So when it comes to dropping this weight and getting healthier....it makes this journey excruciatingly hard. Because most of my time is about the boys and their needs, and when it's not the boys it's Theo and his needs, it really takes a conscious effort to think about myself. Most people take showering for granted. I'm SOOOO fortunate if I get to shower every day. I haven't showered every single day since....well...probably right before Isaiah was born. LOL! That's not to rat myself out and sound like I'm a disgusting pig who never showers...but the reality of it is that showers for me don't get to be a top priority unless of course I'm showering with the boys. Then that's a shower mostly because the boys need it. I just get to join. hahahaha! So anyways, I've been working my butt off for a couple of weeks now. And REALLY trying hard to focus on eating better. I've done pretty well staying within my calorie intake. But I had a few days when I didn't work out and ate like crap. And the thing was...it wasn't so much that I ate a TON...it's just when I did eat...it was crappy food. But whatever...I allowed myself a cheat day...or two. And my body did need to relax. I did something to my knee while running and before I could get to the Dr I didn't want to make it worse...so I rested. Which at that point was okay cause I'd been working out every day. I only rested like 2 days before going to the Dr. After I talked to the Dr she told me to take Motrin and keep going! Which I was SOOOO excited about. I've mostly been running/speed walking outside. It's so nice for the boys and I to get out of the house. I get to exercise and the boys love the ride. Today I even made Isaiah run the last bit of ways home with me. He did so well. He loved it! The sad thing is....It's hard for me to even keep up with him for a good distance. I mean...sure I can keep up and beat him right away...but I'm so out of shape he could honestly beat me in the end. LOL But that's okay. He loves it and doesn't think of me as a failure. So I don't mind! ;) Anyways...I just needed to vent about my frustrations with this weight loss. I can tell my stomach IS getting flabbier...but it only makes me look more gross. I guess after having kids AND gaining weight....my belly is probably not going to look decent for awhile. By the way...my goal is to look noticeably different at Theo's work Christmas party this year. Last year I was depressed (my anti-depressants hadn't really kicked in) and I looked SOOOO gross. I want to be able to buy a new outfit and look so good at his Christmas party. That's a reasonable goal since it's at the end of this year. And I started working out in January. Though I gained weight in May because a family was staying with us and I didn't get to work out. Anyways, I'm also hoping that by Collin's 1st birthday that I can drop the 35lbs. Then I'll have an even 100lbs to loose. That would be SOOOO nice. But I doubt that's going to happen. That's a little less than 2mo away. I shouldn't be so discouraged. Just gotta keep a chin up and keep reminding myself that I don't get results by doing nothing. After I loose the 35lbs though.....I'm going to get an ear piercing. Then after I loose the 100lbs....I'm getting a new tattoo. Something that's about dedication and hard work. I'll definitely deserve it! At some point I also want to get my belly button re-pierced...but who knows what kinda shape my belly will be in after all the abuse I've put it through. *sigh* Anyways....I guess that's it for now. I just need to vent and get some of my frustrations out. It's just really really REALLY hard. But I AM the one who got myself into this mess and with the support of a loving husband and good friends and God on my side...I really can't loose can I? :)

Don't Let Nervousness Stop Me

So! Today starts a new journey for me! I've joined MyFitnessPal.com Thanks to the suggestion of Ashley McKinney! I'm nervous because it's counting calories. I've never done this for dieting before. But it's really nice because you can just type in what you eat and it tells you how much it is and how much more you have to eat. You can also log in when you exercise and everything. I'm looking forward to it! I can't exercise right now because I'm still recovering from Strep Throat and I haven't been able to breathe well. So I gotta wait a bit longer to incorporate the exercise part. But at least I can eat well meanwhile. I hope the weight falls off faster than planned right now. I have 130lbs to loose. :( That majorly disappoints me that I've gotten that far. But...I did it to myself so there's no one to blame but myself. For exercising I plan on starting this couch to 5k program. Basically it's gets you from not being able to run at all...to running a 5k. My goal is to be able to run with Theo and do family races and stuff. That I think would be healthy and fun for us all! So, that's what's going on in my life. I'm extremely nervous...but hopefully I can do this fairly easily. I hope! :-/

He Did It!!!!!

I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to blog about my baby brother graduating high school! He's the last one of us to graduate and it feels down right weird. Just thinking about it right now....it's VERY hard to imagine that none of us are currently in grade school. From this point on, school is optional for all of us. How crazy is that?! When did that happen?! I remember waking up mornings, running to get baby Isaiah from Mom. She would nurse him then hand him to me. I would prepare him some cereal mixed with banana! He loved it! He loved me! He pretty much had a permanent place riding on my hip. Then I was so skinny and tiny and I also had him on my hip. I loved him. He was my bud. I remember when Mom told us she was pregnant with him. I remember thinking "He will like everything I like. He will do everything I do. We'll be best friends! We'll even like the same flavor of ice cream!" Well folks, those days are long gone. Isaiah Jotham has become his own person. He and I don't share the same tastes in ice cream flavors. We most certainly do NOT do everything together. LOL Mostly due to a minor location issue (Michigan is kinda far from Virginia). But I am very proud of Isaiah despite our minor location or ice cream issues. ;) Isaiah was the first sibling to attend public school for high school. So this graduation was a bit of a different experience for us. Thankfully it was VERY pleasant outside. The sun shown bright but there was a cool breeze and it was around 75 degrees out. Just beautiful weather! There were a lot of graduates but for me it was very easy to spot Isaiah. He's quite tall and he was walking very goofy. My guess is that it felt weird to walk with a gown. LOL Anyways.....so I thought I'd let the world know that the Brooks kids are all done with high school. We all officially have high school diploma's. Isaiah is going off to college. To the University of Mary Washington. He's REALLY excited! We gave him some things to make his life easier in college. A couple of gift cards, laundry bag and quite a few other things. It was nice to be able to spend time with him and witness him graduating. Here are a couple of pictures from the event! Congratulations Isaiah! We're so proud of you and love you!

I miss my hair.....

So, I we just got our laptop fixed. Yay!!!!! It's been broken for like 3 months now. Anyways, hopefully now, I'll be able to blog more. Anywho....all my pictures got re-organized and so I came across these pictures from October 2011. I was growing my hair out when I was pregnant with Collin and then after I had him I had to cut it off because it was falling out. :( I was finally making progress with it in length and then *chop*! It had to come off. :( So it's slightly below shoulder length now. But I just wanted to post how I miss it being longer. I'm going to continue trying to grow it back out. Only to have to chop it back off when I have another baby. (Sometime in the future lol) Anyways, hopefully I'll be more successful! :)

The Big 'Ol 2!!!!!!!!

I can't believe I'm old enough (and far enough advanced in life) to say I have a two year old. In what world did that happen?! Anyways, it's true! As of March 27th baby boy Isaiah is two years old! :) What did we do? Well I considered throwing him a party, but being that we needed to save money for a trip to VA in June, I decided since he was only 2, he won't miss it. So we took his best friend Kennedy and her family to Chuck-E-Cheese. Yessir! It was a first for Isaiah AND Theo! Ooooooohhhh buddy! Isaiah had a BLAST!!!!! Theo and I even managed to have some friendly rivalry in a race car game! May I record here on this Blog....I won 4 out of 5 times. Yes people, it's true. This girl beat her husband at a car chasing driving game! :)Anyways, this is not about me....this is about big boy Isaiah. So let's get on with the list! Nicknames-Dubs, Dubber Schoon, Isaiah Brent, Isay-sah (what he calls himself) Favorite Food-Pizza Favorite Drink-Milk Favorite Comfort- Nuggers (his little Giraffe blanket) and binky (yes....Momma's decided to keep it off another year. lol He can only have it when he sleeps!) Favorite Person- None other than his Dadda!!!! He adores him! Best Friend- Kennedy Greene (Key-Key) Favorite Toys- Anything police. (Wonder where he get's that from??!! Hmmmm?!} Also he calls it "Polee-cey" His talking skills have advanced immensely!!!!! He talks all of the time! He is quite the funny little dude! For example! When playing outside, anytime he leaves he says "Bye!" And if you ask him where he's going, his reply? "Church!" And if he's not going to church....it's "Wal-Mart!" He has his ears trained for any siren or ice cream truck! :) The other day he spent his first $1 at the ice cream truck! He was SO beyond proud! Dadda gave him the dollar....of course. He makes sure to keep his little brother out of trouble with a "No CeeBees! No!" :) The person who can make him laugh the hardest?! Collin Henry!!!!! The two of them are SO cute together and when put to bed, spend about 30min making it sound like a circus in their room! Laughing hysterically! Best sound a Mother can hear, despite the non-sleeping. lol Recently when he's ready to get up in the mornings he stands there hollering "Miss Hannah! Good Morning! Miss Hannah! Miss Hannah!" Occasionally he will be caught calling Dadda "See-O!" He's learned this from Sophia who's a 3yo girl who's been living with us for the past month. He's learned quite a bit from her! :) Well I guess that's it for now. I love this kid and he bring such joy to my heart. He's learning to come and hug and kiss and say "I love you Momma!" without prompting. Maybe he'll be a Momma's boy after all. *rolls eyes* Yeaaaaah right! Not as long as Dad is around! ;-P

Guess Who's 9mo?!

My little baby boy Collin has made it to almost 9mo!!! I really wanted to post for his 6month, but life got in the way and I never got a chance. I'm on another computer so I can't post a picture, but I'll come back later and add one....hopefully! :) So what is baby boy up to?! Why everything, of course! Let's go ahead and do the highlights. Favorite Food-Formula. He's eating baby food but this boy will take a bot

tle of milk over food ANY day! Favorite Comfort- His blue blankey that he stole from his brother Isaiah. It actually has Isaiah's name printed on it. OH well! :) Favorite Person-Momma! His brother is VERY close running but he still looks to his Momma for approval and he gather's most of his happiness from me! Favorite Word-Dadda (of course) Milestone 1-He can crawl! Baby boy is into EVERYTHING!!!!! He's been crawling since 6mo! Milestone 2-He has 2 teeth on bottom. He's a GREAT teether! They just kinda popped out of no where. He slept a bit more than normal, but that's it! Milestone 3-He can say Isaiah. He says "Ah-Yaaaaa" SO adorable!!!! Milestone 4-He's starting to risk standing on his own. He can walk, holding his hands. So....as you can see Collin is progressing quite nicely. He's a VERY sweet boy. He loves his Momma to death and loves to snuggle. He loves his big brother Isaiah and looks to him with such adoration. It warms my heart. Love love love my baby boy! <3