It's 5 O'Clock in the Morning

So I figure since I'm up and unable to sleep I should blog. Maybe it'll relax my mind enough to sleep. I was watching this movie with Sarah Jessica Parker in it. It's called "I Don't Know How She Does It". It was SO very good and true. Basically the story line is she's a working mother of 2. She has a very high demand job and it's about juggling the job along with her husband and 2 children. It was really cute, funny and honest. LOL!!! I laughed quite a bit. Even though I'm not a mom who works out of the home, every interactive mother can relate. For example, I just researched what percentage of woman sleep through the night. Listen to this.

-60 percent of women aged 18 to 64 only get a good night's sleep a few nights per week or less

-67 percent experience sleep problems at least a few nights each week

-46 percent experience sleep problems every night

Isn't that INSANE?!?!?! At least I know I'm not alone! I'd say maybe out of the 7 days of the week, I MIGHT get one good night of sleep. But right now Collin's only 5mo so most nights he cries at some point. So even if Theo gets up to feed him, I still get woken up by his crying. I honestly can't remember the last time I had a good nights rest. Part of the problem is that I can't wind myself down enough to actually get to sleep. I really need to buy some Melatonin. I hear it works wonders. So, being that I can't wind myself down early enough, I end up falling asleep late. Then Collin normally wakes up between 12a.m.-1a.m. so then I have to get up for that. Then once I'm up, I'm up for a good hour...sometimes two. Which puts me going back to bed around 2a.m. RIDICULOUS!!!!! Theo just doesn't get it. For him, he can get up, give the baby a bottle and go right back to sleep and still have an amazing nights rest. Uhm....it doesn't work that way for me. I have to get up, most of the time I'm up. They say sleeping with the TV doesn't help. Negative. It helps me tremendously. I don't know how I'd EVER get to sleep without it. Theo doesn't like it on, so the nights he's home I turn it off....those are my worst nights of sleep most of the time. So, anyways, maybe some day I'll be able to sleep. Maybe some day my active brain won't keep running until all hours of the night. It's like my own body works against me. The dark circles under my eyes just keep getting darker and darker. *sigh* I really REALLY need to get some under eye cream. I'm really beginning to look very scary. So, now that I'm done blogging, I think I've just about tired myself out enough. It's now past 5a.m. and I've been up since 3:30a.m. Just unable to sleep. It really is agonizing when you want so badly to sleep.

It's the small things.....

So, as I was showering tonight, I had a realization. Showering is honestly a luxury. lol So is eating. It sounds silly, but anyone who's a parent will agree. When I got into the shower tonight I realized it'd been 2 days since I had actually showered. Which sounds gross....but honestly, me showering is just not a top priority. Earlier today it occurred to me that it's also a luxury to eat. I had gotten up after a rough night with the boys, pretty early in the morning. I got the boys changed, dressed, 2 different breakfasts. Then I unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen. After that I realized I really needed to workout before I got too tired to do so. Well....I worked out pretty hard core today and I felt really light headed. That's when it occurred to me that I hadn't eaten ANYTHING nor had I had more than 2 sips of something to drink. I nearly passed out. It's insane how hard it is for a mother to eat. I just never thought I'd have a problem eating. I'm not sure how I'm going to tackle working out and eating. I mean...reminding myself to eat 5x's a day is HARD work! Seriously! I don't have "me" time. And when I finally do, food is not on the top of my list. I guess I'm going to have to work harder at that if I'm going to loose any weight. As for showers, it's very rare when I get to shower every day. Also, it's even MORE rare when I get to have a quiet in peace shower. Either the boys are running around the house making noise, or Isaiah's breaking into the bathroom hollering "Momma! Momma!" There's normally some kind of interruption. So....the moral of this blog? If you're single and don't have children now....enjoy eating and showering to it's fullest extent! :)

A very lonely bed.....

So it's 12:30a.m. and I can't sleep. Theo's gone away to an Ice Rescue Training School in Sakinaw, MI. Which honestly is pretty darn cool. He was actually on the news. It's so awesome! I'm going to post the link at the end of this blog. Anyways, so seeing him on the news actually made me REALLY miss him. So....now I can't sleep. My bed feels so empty. Normally if he were gone Monday that'd mean he'd be home tomorrow (Wednesday). But...sadly he won't be home until Friday. Not sure what time...but he won't be home til then. So, it's just sad. I am grateful though, that he's only gone a week. It could be longer. A lot of military wives down have their husband's for several months. I'm grateful the Coast Guard is more family friendly than that. Otherwise I don't think I'd want to stay in. So, what else do you do when you can't sleep? Clean the kitchen. hahaha! That's right. Cleaning the kitchen. And now that it's all clean...what am I doing? Blogging. For no good reason really. So...I guess that's all I have to say right now. I'm going to finish the blog then try and fall asleep. We'll see how successful I am. :)

P.S. Theo is in the very first scene carrying a yellow stretcher looking thing. He has a yellow tubing around him! :)

http://www.abc12.com/story/16644979/ice-rescue-training-underway-along-saginaw-river

The Fun Part of Being A Parent

So today I must say Theo and I got a good deep belly laugh! I felt the need to blog it and remember it. The incident occurred down in the basement. Theo had been taking care of the boys while I finished napping. He was downstairs at the computer desk doing paper work while Isaiah played around and Collin swung in the baby swing. Well, when I woke up a mosied on downstairs to see what was going on. After sitting on the stairs observing for awhile and chatting Collin proceeds to get very discontent in his swing. He starts to fuss/cry. Isaiah then starts running around the basement searching for something. I asked him what he was looking for and he ignores me. He then finds this rod of some sort. I don't even know what it was too. Then he runs over to Collin and starts singing him a song. When Collin proceeds to get even more upset and is full on crying Isaiah exasperatedly shrugged his shoulders walked away and said "I tried!" and threw his hands in the air! It was by far one of THE funniest things he's ever done before!!!! What was even more humerus to Theo and I was the fact that Isaiah wasn't even paying attention to the fact that we were there. He was simply trying to make his baby brother stop crying. It was so awesome! Things like that are SO hilarious but they are also so heart warming at the same time. That Isaiah is a very funny little boy!

The Diary of A Poor Fed Up Momma

Dear Diary,
I am so fed up with my hair loss. Having a baby is grand and all, however the problems that come along with growing/having a baby....is sometimes a bit too much! During pregnancy there's constant problems. Especially for me being that I have FAT babies! haha! There's the frequent peeing (every 5 minutes give or take a few minutes), almost constant lower back pain, heartburn, gag reflex, I mean....there's just general problems of pregnancy. Then after you have the baby, you'd expect to heal from the delivery and move on. But no! That's not the way it works. Just when you start feeling 100% back to yourself, you're fully healed, back on a steady routine, you're hair starts falling out. DRASTICALLY! Not just here or there. It's like you wake up one morning and all of a sudden you've been attacked by the Hair Monster and there's hair every where. And showering? Ugh! A shower used to be such a pleasure. A brief way to relax. Now? Now it's just a constant effort to keep the wads of hair from going down the drain causing yet another problem. I am grateful though. Our shower has a window in it....and being that our next door neighbors have moved, I can shower with the window partially opened and let the hair fly out the window. It'll give the birds and squirrels something to build their nests with. Heck! By now, they could probably knit themselves a sweater. Probably for their whole family. Anywho, so....there's the hair loss. Well....in addition to not feeling "hot" "sexy" (I hardly remember what those words mean)there's always the constant struggle of money. *sigh* I really don't love money. It just creates constant issues. Well, the moral of this story is....when you're fed up with hair falling out and you have no money, what happens? You end up standing in front of your bathroom mirror with recently washed hair, tied off in a ponytail and a pair of scissors. Yes Diary! That's correct. I cut off my own hair. It went from mid back length to just above the shoulders. I even decided to keep my hair in a baggy so I could see it in the future. It was quite a lot. haha! It was the first time I've ever put scissors to my hair. So needless to say, I didn't do too bad of a job. And the hair hasn't been as big of a problem. I mean, it's still falling out, but without the extra long hairs, it's not as bad. Eventually, when we might have a bit of spending money, I'm going to get a proper hair cut, but this'll do for now. :)

Totem Pole.....

So, I just want to admit openly that this particular blog entry WILL be selfish and whining and probably sound very ungrateful. I just wanted to go ahead and say that up front, because I know I'm basically having a pity party for myself.

I just need to get some things off my heart and maybe then they can stop nagging me and go away. I continue to pray about this because the last thing I've ever wanted to be is a selfish/narcissistic person. I also have always tried to keep my focus on things that are more long term than superficial. I know that Matthew 6:19-21 says "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:20But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:21For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." I truly and honestly try to live by that. Things of this earth mean nothing. But lately I've been struggling. I love being a mother and a wife. Don't get me wrong. But it's EXHAUSTING! And honestly I think that's what's got my guard down. It's very very easy to be tempted by the world. Anyways, we recently celebrated Christmas. I didn't get anything. We didn't have money so I knew I wouldn't. And Christmas IS NOT about gifts. But I sold some of my stuff in order to surprise Theo and buy him Christmas gifts. The boys got stuff someone gave us. And thankfully Amberleigh sent a gift and it was a really cute purse I'm currently using. But...I dunno...maybe I don't really feel like it's a Christmas gift I want...but I want to be spoiled. I want gifts. I'm not trying to make Theo sound like a jerk or anything. I know he felt SOOOO bad and that's why I can't really talk to him about it. He did get me a really nice card and some mini snickers, which was thoughtful. They were in my stocking. But it's very hard to be happy and content when everyone around you it seems like is getting everything they want and more. All year (2011) all I heard from quite a few people was how they had no money blah blah blah. Well tell me why, come Christmas time they all of a sudden are getting a whole bunch of stuff?!?! I got nothing. How does that work? I mean...I find myself wanting to be SO spoiled. I dunno. I don't think I'm really that type of person...and I really don't want to be...but it honestly feels like I'm always at the bottom of the totem pole. Everyone gets what they need/want but me. The boys of course are at the top of the list. Then Theo because he has to have certain things because of work. Which is TOTALLY understandable. But that puts me at the bottom. I mean...I would like to go out shopping and buy whatever I want. I would like for once, to not take diapers over getting myself some new underwear. Honestly, I do want some fancy things. I mean jewelry would be nice. Something I LIKE! Not something Theo likes. Something I like! I also really want a Coach purse, UGG boots, iPod and Kindle. But honestly....most of the stuff I want is stuff I need. All woman can relate....we feel pretty when we dress pretty. When we feel we have what we need. I can't even remember the last time I got my eyebrows done. I hate my wardrobe. It's the same freaking 5 outfits again and again. Thankfully after Christmas my new friend LaToya gave us Christmas gifts. She bought me an outfit! It was THE cutest!!!! I loved it! Unfortunately because it's the only new thing I have....I feel like it's already worn out, cause everyone notices when I wear something new cause it's normally the same 5 outfits...so wearing that shirt they can tell right away it's new. And I dunno. That may sound dumb. But I just don't feel like a woman. And it upsets me. I try to do what I can....but it's a struggle. I don't have a lot of time to even take a shower. How do I do more? And as far as money....I'm just the last one to always get anything. I'm not saying I don't like sacrificing for my family, because I'd honestly rather take it then the boys or Theo. But....I guess I'm tired. I'm tired and I want to feel appreciated. I want to be romanced/spoiled above and beyond. I love surprises....I always hold my breath when I see a UPS or Fed-Ex truck hoping maybe somebody is surprisingly sending me a package of goodies. Or even a surprise personal letter in the mail. I did enjoy Christmas cause I always had a Christmas card in the mail...and that was nice. But I dunno....I don't only wanna feel appreciate by my husband, I want to feel appreciated by my family and friends. I can't remember the last time I had a friend give me a gift. Rachel sent me a gift for Collin which was super sweet because besides our neighbors (who are new friends) no one else sent anything. I dunno...I think I just need to stop complaining now. Because I think I sound like a big baby. I'm going to keep praying and hope that God takes this off my heart.

Guess Who's 4 Months?!

I really can't believe it's here! Mr Collin Henry has turned 4months! Seriously...where did this time go?! How do babies grow so fast?! It makes me sad! Collin is the sweetest most wonderful baby ever! :) Imagine this, he's ACTUALLY a Momma's boy! After having Isaiah I doubted whether a baby could ever bond with me, snuggle or want me! lol God blessed me with a precious gift and his name is Collin! He A-D-O-R-E-S me!!!!! I love it! I'm the only one that can calm him down when he's upset and most of the time he prefers to be with me. And it's not annoying at all! If he gets too clingy we simply use the Moby wrap which he loves anyways! So it all works out! So let's get some stats on Mr Collin! :)

Nicknames: CeeBees, Ceebs, Uncle, Uncle Ceebs, Tunckles, Boo-Boos and Boo Boo Bunny

Favorite Foods: Formula! Momma's very disappointed that someone is such a slow eater (*cough*collin*cough*)Momma could nurse AND keep up with big brother Isaiah. Which is sad because it was going SO very well!

Favorite Toys:His jungle gym play mat with hanging toys (he spends many hours a day playing/hitting them in his play pen)

Favorite Comforts: Thumb, Soft blanky (most of the time it's the blue polka dot one with Isaiah's name on it. lol)and his Momma! :)

Weight: 16lbs 12oz

Height:25inches

Family Doctor: Dr Katrina Severance-We ADOOOOOORE her! :)

Sleep Patterns: Pretty much sleeps through night. If he wakes it's normally for a feeding round 11p.m/12a.m. ish. He also really only takes 1 nap a day with his big brother Isaiah around 11a.m. Goes to bed at 5:30p.m. wakes up round 6a.m. and talks and laughs with himself until Momma gets him. He sleeps VERY well. Did I mention he's now sharing a room with his big brother? Both do VERY well!


Developments: He can sit up in things like his Excersaucer, Jonny Jump-Up, he can roll over but doesn't a lot, laughing (not a ton, but he can really really laugh), and adoring his older brother.

Fun Stuff: Collin LOVES his older brother. He always watches him very intently wishing he could do the things his brother does. When he cries his brother consoles him and he likes that. Also...Collin is a "Grabby Baby" He loves to grab things. When he was in the womb I always had these pains like he was grabbing at some of my body parts. Well apparently I was right. Because now that he's out, ever since he was born he's gripped EVERYTHING! It's quite adorable!


So there's a summary of my precious baby boy! He's growing so very quickly! :)