Good Morning! It's almost 7a.m. and this is the second morning in a row that I've been up before 7a.m. Yesterday I thought I'd be productive and look up a bunch of information that I needed. This morning? I've decided to make myself a cup of Hot Honey Lemon Tea (my favorite) using local honey. As a side note, I love local honey! It's just so much more pure and rich tasting. I use a lot less of it than I do the store processed kind. I hope to never go back to that! Local honey is the way to go! Plus, it's a bonus that it's helping with my allergies! Anyways, this morning I decided to set aside some time to blog. What better time than early in the morning?
So, a crazy amount of things have been going on in my life lately. So many times I wanted to blog and I would blog in my head, hahaha, but that's not exactly the same as actual blogging. There's just been so many emotions, ideas, thoughts I've wanted to record. But among the craziness it just hasn't happened.
Let's start with, I'm FINALLY out of the hospital!!!!! Hip hip hooray for that! I was going on 6 weeks of being in there. Not the most pleasant place ever. I was released July 5th after my bone marrow biopsy. Since then, I've going through another round of chemo. Actually, that was just last week! I started round two July 22nd. It was four days in a row of chemo. I will say, this chemo hit me harder quicker than the first one did. I was pretty unfuctionally exhausted. I can't even explain to you how hard it was to keep my eyes open. I thought I was tired when I was pregnant with Isaiah. I guess this tiredness was different because it was so hard to even think. Whereas my pregnancy with Isaiah, I was just physically exhausted. haha So, I was kind of surprised about how quickly the chemo kicked in and how tired I was. I'm a week out from the last day of chemo, and I'm feeling a LOT better. Random nausea but medicine helps with that! I'm still physically pretty tired but at least now my brain is in full gear back to normal. haha It's really funny to have your brain be so active and clear but have your body in like slow motion. haha!
I finally had to cut my hair! I had it cut short while I was in the hospital, but last week I just had to have it basically go short like a boy. I'm loosing a LOT of hair on top of my head, so with longer hair it was starting to A)make it look bad (though thank goodness I have curly hair...had it of been straight this would've happened a lot sooner)and B)Just get too much to deal with coming out in the shower or randomly just falling out. I went into the beauty salon with intentions of just shaving it. But the stylist was so sweet and took time to sit with me, actually look at my hair and realize I wasn't emotionally ready to just shave it. So she cut it the shortest it's ever been! It's off my neck and basically a small curly fro. I wasn't in love with it. Obviously, I wanted my long hair back. haha It's grown on me since then though. BUT! I do absolutely LOOOOVE the fact that all I have to do is wake up. I don't even mousse it! Which is something that I needed when struggling with energy. Yesterday, I actually discovered that putting a headband in it makes me like it way more. So today, I'll be going to get lots of cute headbands. I'm excited because with longer hair it makes my hair thinner and every time I tried wearing one, it'd just fall off. But I wore one all day yesterday and hardly ever noticed! As in, it didn't hurt behind my ears much. So I'm more excited about my hair now, than I was originally. Also, I'm excited cause I may not have to shave my head at all! It's not falling out in the back! The back is very thick and growing. The top is definitley struggling and in general my hair is dried out and not it's normal. But I'm encouraged thinking this is the worst of it. We'll see! I have to say though, I've learned to appreciate hair on a whole new level. I've never really cared one way or another with my hair. My Dad never let me cut it when I was living in his house....so I learned to just braid it and that's about it. But since moving out on my own, (When I was 19) cutting it short (cause it used to be so long) and experimenting with color, style, length I just started to learn to appreciate my hair. And now? I definitely appreciate it on a whole new level. God gave women hair for a reason! It's a covering! I can't even put into words the raw emotions I've felt by continually cutting it shorter and shorter. Especially when it's not by choice. It's just been an experience that I hope to never have to deal with....ever again! haha
Besides chemo and loosing hair, there's our housing/Theo's work situation. We waited and waited for orders to Station Washington D.C. that the Coast Guard said they'd give us, only to find out at the end of last week that we didn't get orders. They want him still stationed out of Detroit but TDY (which is basically like a side assignment) in D.C. for six months. Which means MI pay. Which also means, if we have to return in six months, we don't want to get rid of our place there. So we went from having hope (even putting a lease on a house here in VA) of being in our own bed and home soon, to everything going up in flames! We still have no idea what we're going to do for housing. We can't afford rent in MI AND VA. We can't even afford rent in VA on MI pay. So! The boys are back with my Mom for right now. Theo is currently in MI getting his work gear and a few things for us. He starts back to work on Monday. I'm staying with family friends for now. So, it's been less than stressful trying to figure out what in the world we're going to do. If I could afford a Nanny, I would 100% be moving back to Michigan! It'd be a whole lot easier! Sadly, I don't have money for that. Today I will be making calls to see what kind of financial assistance I can get though. Oh! And this situation is made even more difficult because we only have one vehicle and it's a truck. So A)Theo cannot afford to commute to D.C. from Fredericksburg, VA in that and B)He can't even keep it parked at a commuter lot cause I need it for Dr's appointments. So, things have just been chaotic and stressful. And honestly, with me not knowing when I'll be able to sleep in my own bed in my own house....it's really stressing me out. It's very hard to fully relax because everything is so temporary. But Theo and I are trying to remain faithful to prayer and reading of scripture. It's so very hard to remain hopeful/peaceful when everything is so unsettled. But I know without a doubt that my God is faithful and even when I don't understand....HE does! And I keep reminding myself of that!
So there's an update. I'm glad I finally was able to blog! I don't think I forgot anything. haha!
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