Ohhhh My Ovaries!!!!!!!!

So this will be a very brief short blog. But I just had to say it! My ovaries are SCREAMINGGGGGGG!!!!! So many people have recently had babies and my "baby" is no longer a baby and it's making me extremely sad and wanting. And not just a baby. TWINS! I want twins! Twin boys! I've officially decided I will borrow other people's girls, but I don't need one! LOL So twin boys would be SO nice! I just have such an empty hole from missing Collin's twin. Not naming it. Not knowing whether it was a boy or girl. I just always see a picture of twins and feel such a loss and longing! So my ovaries are screaming! I pray to God all day every day recently about this. I know I can't get pregnant now. I'm so unhealthy and struggling to barely live. But...I'm praying to God that if I'm not to get pregnant he helps slowly soothe that ache for me. Because I just don't want to long and be sad my whole life if that's what God's plan is! So that's all I have to say today!