No one tells you.....

So, I've been wanting to blog this for awhile, but hadn't had the time. I wanted to blog an update on my health journey. I'm fast approaching the 50lbs lost. I'm disappointed I haven't exactly reached it yet. But I am making progress. It's just slower than I'd like. However, despite my weight number (at least it's decreasing, right?)I've noticed huge improvements in my lifestyle in general. Overall my physical health has grown leaps and bounds. I can tolerate more exercise and weights are going up and up. I've also stopped my Prosac! It's been a little over a month now and I feel pretty good. Prosac had a lot of side affects. For example I sweat SO bad. More than I ever have in my life. I also would have random dizzy spells. It also decreased my appetite. (something I actually didn't need) But I took it because after much contemplation and prayer, we decided I had to have it. My mood swings have greatly improved. I'm sure more consistent sunshine helps with that too. I've also been eating better. Sure there was a month that I ate like crap almost the whole month. Why? Because we were sick for at least 2 of those weeks and I barely had energy to do anything else. I've also noticed a huge change in my mental thinking. I still beat myself up quite a bit. (does that ever go away?) But! I've been more accepting of myself. Oh yeah! Sure! I ate like crap for a month. That's okay! The next month I'll do better and try every single day! Period. No continuing to beat myself up over failures. I've also learned to pace myself a lot better! Pacing has always been a huge issue for me. My first workout I'd put 1,000 percent in. Then be out for 2 weeks because I over did it. If I'm not feeling my best, I now weigh the pros and cons of going to the gym and if I go to the gym, I learn to adjust and not push myself over the edge. It's been awesome! In general, I'm feeling fantastic!


I did want to mention one thing I did not predict from this journey. The loneliness! I miss my friends. I'm never on Facebook any more. I never get to respond to emails/messages like I used to. I rarely get to actually just chill with someone! I don't really have a consistent gym buddy. It's sad. I feel constantly lonely. Having a husband always gone doesn't help either. Also hearing about what people are doing without you. Doesn't help. When you jump on the wagon to health, your're priorities change. Yeah, sure I'm home almost every afternoon. But because I'm gone at the gym all morning, I have things like laundry, dishes and house chores to catch up on. Then it's dinner time. Then gotta get the kids ready for bed and into bed. I know this is the journey God wants for me and my family. But no one tells you how lonely you'll feel. I'm a VERY social person. Always have been. Didn't expect this. I'm learning to deal with it. But it's quite hard sometimes. :-/ Gotta stay strong!