Sunglasses

There are days,
Days when getting out of bed are hard
When the simplest things seem like they should be as hard as climbing Mount Everest.
Moments when you realize those tears you've been fighting for weeks
just won't hold in any more.
Days when all that's playing in your head,
is a reel of "Dear God, please help me make it through this day and
help these tears stop flowing."
You realize you're a Mom.
Your children need you.
They literally need you to survive.
Even though you feel like you can't survive,
You're forced to survive.
So, you take a deep breath
Breathe slowly
Bite your lip
And put those sunglasses on.
Because when you're at your weakest
And life still needs to be lived
they shade the pain.
Sunglasses make you brave
They make you fight
Sunglasses.......

Funny, Sweet or Hurtful?

So I saw this thing on Facebook! I decided to ask each boy (separately) and see what they came up with. It's always interesting to hear what they think of me! Either it'll be Funny, Sweet or Hurtful....right? lol


Isaiah Brent Age 5
1. What is something your mom always says to you? Don't push your brother
2. What makes mom happy? Doing the right thing
3. What makes mom sad? Doing the wrong thing
4. How does your mom make you laugh? By doing funny stuff like tickling us!
5. What was your mom like as a child? Mmm...being a baby?
6. How old is your mom? Big
7. How tall is your mom? Big Tall
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Do fun stuff like going to her friends house.
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Do her own things like going to her friends house
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? Uhm....probably get money?
11. What is your mom really good at? Making food
12. What is your mom not very good at? At Climbing
13. What does your mom do for a job? Hmm...Probably go on the computer.
14.What is your mom's favorite food? All kinds of foods
15.What makes you proud of your mom? Working
16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? Super Woman
17. What do you and your mom do together? Go places
18. How are you and your mom the same? Because we're both older
19. How are you and your mom different? Because Momma is a girl and I'm a boy
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because when I'm doing work you tell me.
21. What does your mom like most about your dad? Working
22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? All places
23. how old was your mom when u were born? Uhm...I dunno


Collin Henry Age 3 1/2
1. What is something your mom always says to you? Be quiet (BWAHahahahahahha!!!!!)
2. What makes mom happy? Cleaning up our room
3. What makes mom sad? By doing bad tuff (stuff)
4. How does your mom make you laugh? Uh...I don't know...how you make me laugh?
5. What was your mom like as a child? Uhm...obeying the rules
6. How old is your mom? 2
7. How tall is your mom? Big
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Uhm....I don't know. Tell me!
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Uhm....I don't know
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? -blank-
11. What is your mom really good at? Cleaning up the mess
12. What is your mom not very good at? Not cleaning up
13. What does your mom do for a job? Clean up her mess (Uhm...whaaaaa?!"
14.What is your mom's favorite food? Bagetti "spaghetti"
15.What makes you proud of your mom? I can't think
16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? A guy
17. What do you and your mom do together? go outside
18. How are you and your mom the same? We have curly hair
19. How are you and your mom different? We're both different
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because she uhm...I love you
21. What does your mom like most about your dad? Loving him
22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Play places
23. how old was your mom when u were born? Very small


Well that was an eye opener! LOL

No one tells you.....

So, I've been wanting to blog this for awhile, but hadn't had the time. I wanted to blog an update on my health journey. I'm fast approaching the 50lbs lost. I'm disappointed I haven't exactly reached it yet. But I am making progress. It's just slower than I'd like. However, despite my weight number (at least it's decreasing, right?)I've noticed huge improvements in my lifestyle in general. Overall my physical health has grown leaps and bounds. I can tolerate more exercise and weights are going up and up. I've also stopped my Prosac! It's been a little over a month now and I feel pretty good. Prosac had a lot of side affects. For example I sweat SO bad. More than I ever have in my life. I also would have random dizzy spells. It also decreased my appetite. (something I actually didn't need) But I took it because after much contemplation and prayer, we decided I had to have it. My mood swings have greatly improved. I'm sure more consistent sunshine helps with that too. I've also been eating better. Sure there was a month that I ate like crap almost the whole month. Why? Because we were sick for at least 2 of those weeks and I barely had energy to do anything else. I've also noticed a huge change in my mental thinking. I still beat myself up quite a bit. (does that ever go away?) But! I've been more accepting of myself. Oh yeah! Sure! I ate like crap for a month. That's okay! The next month I'll do better and try every single day! Period. No continuing to beat myself up over failures. I've also learned to pace myself a lot better! Pacing has always been a huge issue for me. My first workout I'd put 1,000 percent in. Then be out for 2 weeks because I over did it. If I'm not feeling my best, I now weigh the pros and cons of going to the gym and if I go to the gym, I learn to adjust and not push myself over the edge. It's been awesome! In general, I'm feeling fantastic!


I did want to mention one thing I did not predict from this journey. The loneliness! I miss my friends. I'm never on Facebook any more. I never get to respond to emails/messages like I used to. I rarely get to actually just chill with someone! I don't really have a consistent gym buddy. It's sad. I feel constantly lonely. Having a husband always gone doesn't help either. Also hearing about what people are doing without you. Doesn't help. When you jump on the wagon to health, your're priorities change. Yeah, sure I'm home almost every afternoon. But because I'm gone at the gym all morning, I have things like laundry, dishes and house chores to catch up on. Then it's dinner time. Then gotta get the kids ready for bed and into bed. I know this is the journey God wants for me and my family. But no one tells you how lonely you'll feel. I'm a VERY social person. Always have been. Didn't expect this. I'm learning to deal with it. But it's quite hard sometimes. :-/ Gotta stay strong!

The Big 5!!!!!!!

Well Folks! It's happened! I now have a 5 year old! How it happened, I'm not quite sure! It's amazing to me how quickly 5 years has flown by! Isaiah is amazing me every single day! He's so strong, independent and the boy constantly amazes me with his enormous heart! He is a lot like his Momma! He thinks of everyone's needs. You can see he really processes and thinks about people and how they might be feeling. If he can alleviate that in any way, he will try his absolute hardest. He's also so smart! A lot like his Daddy in that sense! He's a very technical thinker. Makes me wonder what he'll do when he grows up! He's still very much a Daddy's boy! But he does love and is very protective over his Momma. If I'm good, he's good. If I'm bad, he works his absolute hardest to make it better for me in any way! I love his kind heart and I really hope that God continues to teach me how to allow that to grow and become so much more wonderful! Isaiah Brent is a huge blessing to me and our family! I can't believe he's 5! Happy Birthday Buggy-Boo! We love you!!!!!!


So, for the first time, I actually asked Isaiah the questions instead of just writing down what I know! So....here we go....*drumroll*

Name: Isaiah Brent Scheungrab
Age: 5
Height: 3ft 10inches
Weight: 60lbs
Nickname: Dubs, Buggy-Boo, Brother, Buddy and Dubby-Doos
Favorite Color: Red and Blue and Yellow and Green
Favorite Food: Mac and Cheese
Favorite Drink: Milk
Favorite Toy: Ninja Turtle toy that Ms Ashley bought for his birthday
Favorite Family Member: Daddy ("Cause he works at the Coast Guard!")
Best Friend: Kennedy, Kassady and Alexander
What To Do When Grown Up: Go in the Coast Guard like Daddy!
Favorite Place to Go: Open Gym at the local Gymnastics place
Inside or Outside: "Well, sometimes outside. But sometimes I like to go inside."
Favorite Thing to Do with Family: Go places and go out to dinner
Favorite Sport to Play: Soccer
Favorite Activity Class to Take: Sports Class
Favorite School Subject: Cut Paper
Favorite Season: Winter, "because I like playing in the snow."
Favorite Book: My Bible (childrens)
Favorite Movie: Batman, Spiderman and Ninja Turtles
Favorite TV Show: Tom and Jerry
Favorite Thing to do with Collin: Go outside and play (playing bad guy and good guy)
Favorite Thing to do with Daddy: Go to his work
Favorite Thing to do with Momma: Go places
Accomplishments This Past Year: Swim without life jacket and dive for rings, ride a bike with training wheels

May is the Month

So recently I was invited to participate in this thing called Whole30! I decided against it because I could tell it wouldn't go well with our busy schedules. Basically it seemed to be the concept that you only eat veggies, fruits and meat. Thats it. No sugar no carbs. It just didn't seem appealing to me especially with kids. I mean, seriously...can you picture my kids going for green beans and chicken breast? LOL Anyways, it got me thinking about how my eating has been outta whack. I'm over making myself feel bad for it. It is what it is. Could I have made better decisions? Yes! Of course! But I can't change it. All I can do is look forward! I've got the active part of my lifestyle pretty down pat right now. Which I'm excited about. I've been trying to eat frequently. Which has been a challenge for me. So that's definitely helped. But I'm not where I wanna be! So! I thought, instead of doing Whole30 in the month of May, I'm going to do my own version! I've decided starting May 1st-May 31st I will not be eating any McDonald's or KC's. (a local ice cream place in walking distance to our house...yeah...it's a problem. LOL) I may try and eliminate a few other things too. But right now, those are the two that I frequent most often. I'm not trying to diet. I don't think diets are healthy. But I feel with taking McD and KC's away, it'll force me to make healthier food choices. So, here's a blog post telling the world...I will be taping myself and possibly weighing myself April 30th and June 1st. I want to see what difference it makes. Hopefully April 30th I will be able to blog my results and my fears/excitement of starting May! I will also be praying and thinking about anything else God's leading me to give up for a month. So, stay tuned! :-)

It's 2015

Like, what? Did I just write that? 2015? Already? This year seriously flew by! In all honesty, at the beginning of every new year I probably say "I can't believe it went by so fast!" But seriously! Every year seems to fly by quicker and quicker. That's probably because I'm busy. ALL.THE.TIME! Just when I think "Oh! We'll settle down here in a bit." Life seems to get even more hectic! My children! They've grown so much in the past year! I'd honestly have to say that I've grown with them. It's funny how life does that! You grow into an adult and you think "Well, that's it! I'm officially an adult!" Then your children come along and you're all "OHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO I DOOOOO?!?!" The mental process behind raising a child is INCREDIBLE! I never knew my brain could work in so many different ways! Haha! Plus, let's be honest, keeping up with TWO boys under the age of 5 that are 17 months apart is nothing but a mere challenge. Especially for me. I've always had the God given talent to adapt to just about any child. But to truly understand MALES....well....let's just say that will probably just be left in the dust. I mean....the obsessive need to pass gas, touch their body parts, dig in their butts, pick boogers, eat them, make messes out of things you had NO idea could be....it all just astounds me! Imagine my surprise one day when I told Isaiah to quit doing some nasty habit and his response was "Daddy does it." Ugh! I'm utterly defeated. I'm surrounded by testosterone! Just when I think I've had enough, one of them ropes me back in with their quiet protective "let me check on Momma!" moods. It's a conspiracy I swear! Some days it's (some parents won't admit this) utter TORTURE to raise two boys! And sometimes it gets to feeling very lonely. But as life goes on, I wouldn't trade it for the world. The sweet moments are rare. I'm finding more and more that I'm living life with much more humor than I ever thought I had! More and more I'm learning to just not even bother yelling and shouting when Collin is hanging from one foot from the top bunk. It really takes a lot to scare me these days! For example, right as I'm writing this, Collin is currently screaming bloody murder. Limping in here on one leg acting like he's dying. I haven't flinched. Barely moved a muscle. Continued to type on the computer like nothing was wrong. Why? Some might say "It's because she's a lazy irresponsible mother." Those who know me....and better yet know Collin, will say "It's because he does this ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time!" And when I say "ALLLLLLLLLLL" I mean it! It's not an exaggeration. Guess what? By the time I'm done typing this, he's no longer crying and is back there laughing and goofing off as usual. hahaha! Anyways, it's time for me to rally up the troops and figure out what's to eat for dinner. They are incessantly hungry. So here's to a new year! A new year of me chasing around the little people that Theo and I created together! A new year for Theo and I to learn more about each other and grow deeper in love! A new year to continually learn lessons God's set up for us to learn! A new year to grow as a family! Cheers 2014! You were exhausting! Bring on 2015! ;-)

Baby Days.....

So as I was showering this morning a thought occurred to me. So I thought I should blog about it if I had time today! And guess what? I do! Hooray!


What was the thought? It was that my very youngest baby is no longer a baby! We are officially done. He used his last pull up (he's been potty trained but we had one last open box of pull ups, so we've been using them at night) 2 nights ago and this morning it occurred to me that without watching Harper, I don't even have a reason to have wipes. Both of my children are fully potty trained and can wash their own hands with soap and water now. They can pretty much brush their teeth as well. They've long since stopped using baby wash and baby detergent on their clothes. The only "baby" thing left is their Nuggies (their soothing blankets). That's IT! I'm crushed! I'm sure I'll have to carry in my purse some small pack of wipes just in case...but that's it! No need to buy Costco bulk diapers or wipes any more. How heartbreaking. No more binkys, bottles or sippy cups. No more cutting food up for them. My two boys are completely self sufficient. Well, I do still have to pick out Collin's clothes still, but he can dress himself now. (except sometimes there's a backwards underwear or shoes on the wrong feet) But they don't need me as much as they did! I am now transitioning to the "Soccer Mom". It's now time for their activities. For me to drive them here and there and teach them formal education and make sure their social and needs are being met. I mean...really? When did that happen? I want my babies back! I was Collin, binky in mouth and nuggies in tow, to sneak into my bed wanting "nuggles". I want Isaiah to climb up in my lap and slobber all over me and give me "lubs". I miss that! As everything goes, there's pros and cons to everything. And since I just listed all the cons...haha...I decided I'd list some of the pros. NO MORE STINKY DIAPERS!!!!!!!! I know several moms who are probably pretty jealous of me right now. haha! I mean.....it's been almost 5 years (can you believe I'll have a 5 year old at the end of March?!?!) and to finally not have the lingering smell of poop running around....pretty freaking sweet man! I actually do have more time to myself right now. I'm not having to wake up for feedings. I can sleep in. They can dress themselves and brush their teeth. I mean...that's pretty awesome! But I still find myself with sadness. My life has been a certain way for 5 years now. And to just stop? I feel almost without an identity. It sounds dramatic but I feel kinda striped raw. Like, what now? Obviously, they still need me. I mean, they're FAR from being able to drive themselves places or stay at home alone. But it does leave me feeling empty. I never expected to be in this stage of life at this point. I expected to be in this phase for at least 10 years! lol Knock all my babies out at once and then we be done all at once. But God does have a plan for me. I don't know what it is, but I do feel a bit empty. Eventually I will become more peaceful. I am definitely enjoying some of the freedom. I'm definitely excited about a future with these two boys! They give me such life and purpose! Collin for sure, keeps me on my toes. But, for now....good bye wipes and diapers. Good bye good smelling baby wash and detergent. I will most certainly always miss you. And every time I see or smell anything baby related nostalgia will fill me! But for now.....good bye......